A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for about 5 years. For the past 2 years, our conversations have declined to the point where we don't even hang out any more because all we do is sit in silence. And that is kind of weird don't you think?If we do talk then its over Skype, facebook, and even then its only "Hey, what's up?" And nothing after that, i'm not even not joking. If it goes any further than that then its him asking me to come over to have sex with him. Which I don't do, not because i'm a prude but because of 2 things 1. It's gotten boring and 2. I feel like its only for him to get off and that's it.I've told him how him asking for sex makes me feel and he says he'll fix it but less than 24 hours later it's "Hey babe want to come over and have sex?"I'm beyond frustrated, its gotten to a point where he asks for sex and I get bitchy at him and we start fighting. It's stupid I know but he just doesn't seem to get how he makes me feel, I feel more like a booty call than his girlfriend.In the past, before I just finally stopped wanting sex, I tried spicing up our sex life, but it failed due to him saying no to whatever idea I had come up with. As for talking, we don't have the same interests, nor hobbies etc so its hard for me to think on what to ask him or even talk about, and even if I do think of something then I get a short answer and not much else contributed to the topic.I'm thinking of ending the relationship soon due to feeling like the relationship ran its course and feeling as I said, a booty call. But do anyone have any ideas on what to talk about or a way for me to enjoy sex without feeing like its a booty call? I want to try to see if things can work before officially pulling the plug on our relationship. And just so everyone knows, my boyfriend was never like the way I've kind of described him, its only been the past year of is behaviour.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (2 January 2016):
 "Sounds" to me as though you are simply (and, only) a convenient sex-partner for this guy. He has learned that HE can control matters by way of the silence that is frustrating you. With true love.... and a relationship.... that is not part of the formula....
Decide if you wish to carry this on much - if any - longer... and THAT will guide your decision....
Note that HE isn't going to change anything... since he's got you where he wants you.... and he's "getting his"...
Good luck. There are better "boyfriends" out there...
A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (2 January 2016):
Talk to him. The sex thing is just a side problem, the real problem is that you two don't seem to know how to enjoy each other's company anymore. Not having anything to talk about at all is the problem. Your bf seems to think that well, as long as you two are still having sex, it's still a relationship. Well, that's BS of course, no wonder you feel like a booty call. So sit him down and tell him what's bothering you. What changed so much between you two that you don't have anything to say to each other? Why was he not receptive to your attempts to spice up your sex life? If he has to ask for sex, doesn't that in itself say something about the way this relationship is going? These are the questions that need answers and afterwards you have to be honest to yourself and him about whether this relationship really can be saved. Because you two, right now, aren't relating to each other, at all.
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