| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: How, how, how can i get my boyfriend back?he broke up with me back before christmas - first called a break as he was upset and unsure whether we could have a future together. He had always thought we would, recently had had doubts, and then concluded if we got married etc it wouldnt last. Then he finished it.I think this is because of fundamental differences between us the way we are in relationships - I am quite needy while he is v independent, i am chatty and affectionate while he is a bit more withdrawn. He did really love me however and had wanted to marry me and have kids together for a lot of the two and a half years we were together.I begged him to change his mind for a while but realised this was the wrong approach. Havent spoken to him now for a month. But I know that i love him more than ever. I could move on i guess, but i dont want to as i love him. And our relationship was amazing for ages.What do i do now? Begging him or letting him know i still need him probably isnt the right thing to do is it? If he sees that i am more independent now and less needy, will this maybe make him more receptive to the idea of us getting back together?He sent me a text after we broke up, when I asked him why he wasnt upset, saying "We have to act as if its over for good or else we will never move on at all". Does this sound like a reconciliation is on the cards, however remote a possibility?PS We are long distance so I cant go and see him.Thanks to anyone who can offer advice.
View related questions:
a break, broke up, christmas, long distance, move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): You may have thought your relationship with this guy was "amazing", but I'm guessing he did not share the same feelings. Yes, you need to become more independent. But not simply to win him back, you need to do this for yourself. No one wants a needy person who puts all her eggs into one basket, so to speak. True independence is very sexy. It challenges a man to figure out how to fit into a woman's life, when he knows he's not really needed. And it also makes you a stronger person because when someone does walk out the door, you know you have it within yourself to survive! Your new indpendence may sway things in your favor, or it may not. The text he sent you really does not sound like there is a possible reconciliation in the works, but you never know....Take up a class, learn something new. Change your hair, your clothes. Start working out. Start going out. Paint your apartment. Take up a new hobby. Spend an afternoon watching re-runs of Sex-and-the-City and you'll quickly learn how the saavy women in this world learn how to be confident and less clingy in their relationships. Once you invest in yourself, you will be a better mate for the next person who comes into your life, whether it's him or not is up to fate. I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2007): Maybe because of the distance it was a problem for him. If you miss him that much then just send him a text 'Hi how are you?' That's not needy, but just don't get your hopes high, there is a possibility that he may have met someone else local and may not respond. At least you can say you gave it one last try whatever the outcome.
...............................
A
female
reader, Drs Lizzi  +, writes (22 January 2007):
It sounds like your in a right pickle! Your boyfriend semms to have ended it and your still clinging on! You might still love him, but if he doesn't love you than it is going to be a nasty relationship to get into. Begging him is just going to prove your clingy, and chase him even further away! Try a new relationship, don't appear desperate, maybe just the odd date. give him his space, if he really saw a good relationship with you he wouldn't of ended it! Stay strong, you don't need him!
...............................
A
female
reader, angelbbabe7490 +, writes (22 January 2007):
 i dont think you exactly know what love truly is, because you seem to be using it in the wrong way. Long distance relationships never truly work unless you (yourself) could drive and see him.(or if he drives) it can be very hard to maintain feelings for someone if you never see them, and im sure that is what happened to him. how far exactly does he live from you? if you truly want him back write him a long email telling him how you feel.. try not to use to word love and dont make it seem like you really NEED him to live. if you do then you may scare him away completly. just be casual and tell him how you feel. let the words flow as you express your feelings. i hope this advice help you.
-danielle
...............................
|
