A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:[Mod note: 2 questions from same poster combined.I'd love some advice, especially from any guys, about my not saying I love you to my boyfriend. We've been going out 4 months. I'd been single 1 year, after splitting up with a guy I'd lived with for 6 years who I found out had cheated on me. I was happy being single, not looking for a relationship, when this amazing guy, my new bf, came into my life :) My new bf had been single 15 months, and he was also cheated on. So, we've just been hanging out, getting to know each other, having fun, and he's awesome-gorgeous, kind, funny, thoughtful, intelligent, interesting-I've given himm lots of heart-felt compliments, and told him that I feel very lucky to be his girlfriend:) He's introduced me to his friends and his family, and has told me he's falling in love with me and hopes I will fall in love with him too, and said he feels relaxed and happy around me. So, last night he tells me: "I wonder when you're going to use the L word to me" (meaning Love). I replied by saying it's a scary thing to say out loud, he asked why, and I couldn't really explain, which he was fine with, changed the subject and we just carried on having a good night, and he ended up saying that he thinks I'm waiting 'til we're in an amazing place, like at the top of a mountain, because he thinks I'm a romantic. So, my bf of 3 months woke me up this morning by fingering me, maybe a little roughly, but I did like it. We had had sex the night before, and he's kinda large, and I think he kinda put his penis in me along with his fingers around his penis, but I'm not too sure. Anyway, this morning, the inner lips of my vagina feel kinda swollen and sore...should I be worried? There's nothing else at all wrong. I've never had this before. Also, I'm nervous he'll want to have sex tonight and that it might hurt a little...is there something wrong with me, do you think? Thanks :)Now, the thing is, I do feel like I am falling in love with him too, and there have been times when I've felt like saying it to him. But, I guess part of me is holding back because I'm scared of saying I love him, 'cos it kinda opens me up to being hurt and betrayed again. He hasn't done anything to make me feel he is not trustworthy, and I know it's unfair to let my past experience cloud my judgement, but there it is. Another part of me wonders if it is too soon to know I love him...like, I know I love being with him, I'm sexually attracted to him, we have amazing chemistry, and I care about him hugely, and I'd love for our relationship to progress further...to be honest, I've even had a daydream or two about getting married-I've never wanted to marry any previous bfs! Another part of me wants to save telling him I love him til something like New Year's Eve, or to wait til like 6 months-ish.Do you think I'm dumb? He doesn't seem upset by me not saying it, but do you think he is hurt by me holding back? What should I do? Thanks :)
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cheated on me, fingering, I love you, vagina Reply to this Question
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male
reader, not fat  +, writes (20 December 2010):
give it time, whn your ready then tell him you love him. and if your hurt dont have sex.
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