A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship for nearly 3 years now. My boyfriend and I recently got back together after a 5 month long break. The problem is, I don't know if I'm really in love with him. He is dependable, sweet, and loves me. He treats me so well. He likes to pay for everything, which can be helpful because I'm in school and struggling financially. At the same time it makes me feel guilty, and I hate feeling dependent on him. We're extrememly close and honest with eachother. How do you know if the relationship has simply run it's course?On top of everything else my boyfriend's good friend has recently started texting me. We've developed a close friendship that does not transcend into physical territory, but I'm developing feelings for him. He's a breath of fresh air in my somewhat stale relationship. I don't know his feelings for me. Should I ask him how he feels, or let things play out? I feel guilty talking to him at all, but I can't seem to stop. He makes me feel interesting and smart. I've told my boyfriend about my questions, and he told me to think about things. I just can't come to any conclusions.Am I wrong to try to fix what isn't broken?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2008): To the most recent poster, I'd just like to defend myself here by saying, I am not a bad person. Sometimes the cute, cookie cutter choice is not the right one. Sometimes things get messy and people get hurt. My ex and I are still on excellent terms, and it will remain so. Do yourself a favor and don't make unfounded assumptions about people. Thank you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2008): The grass is always greener...
If you have feelings for other people then maybe it is time to end your relationship with this guy. But if you have the slightest care for him or even half respect him then LEAVE HIS FRIENDS ALONE.
Or are you the girl in high school who just can't be satisfied by hurting a guy, you need to see him destroyed as well?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Thanks for your trouble in updating us. I hope you will find this new friend a better specimen..LOL!
Be happy and enjoy life!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all your imput.
I broke it off with my boyfriend a few days ago. He was hurt but took it fairly well.
The friend and I have been spending a little more time together and for the time being I am very happy just getting to know him.
I just thought I'd share the update.
Thanks again!
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A
male
reader, Namatjira  +, writes (5 February 2008):
Hi,
Life and love can be so confusing sometimes. I think the others have given you some good advice and I certainly agree that if this new guy is prepared to go behind his mates back and hit on his girlfriend then he does not possess much loyalty.
One piece of advice based on what I have learned in life over the years is that every relationship leaves some baggage of its own in our hearts. In order for us to reduce the impact that baggage has on our next relationship we need to have a period of time (how long is different from one time to the next) alone to sort it all out in our head.
If a relationship has come to an end, make sure it is closed off before jumping into the next. If they overlap it will only complicate matters.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (5 February 2008):
There are two types of guys, the dependable provider which is boring and the Casanova who is all fun and exciting.
It is not easy or impossible to find a man who is a good provider as well as a Casanova .
As long as you know where is the boundary , a little flirting does not hurt.But beware the fire may burn out of control.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (5 February 2008):
 Hi,
It looks like you have too much of a good thing. But then again you can't force yourself to love someone can you no matter how well they treat you. Perhaps you should let him get on with his life, it may be hard, but as he treats you so well don't you think he deserves to be with someone who connects with him in all ways?
As for his good friend, sit down and think about what is happening here. His friend is such a swell guy that he is hitting on his mate's girlfriend. It hardly says much for his character does it? He's seen the first sign of weakness and is prepared to jump in behind his friend's back. Don't be surprised if you hook up with him that somewhere down the track he will drop you for the first thing that takes his fancy when you are all settled down into a routine.
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