A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:On August 14, me and my boyfriend make a year. We are like to peas in a pod and there is no other love like ours. We weren't only each others' lovers but we were best friends. In November of 2008, we moved into an apartment together so that we can be together and I could still go to school. Things were wonderful for the first year of us dating, until he lost a job and had to find another which was like 2 hours away from our own establishment. Since he's been working here, I've had surgery and we moved back home for the rest of the summer until school starts back up in August. I feel the more we are home, the more and more our relationship changes each day. Before this new job of his, we have talked about marriage coming soon and starting a family and also after the year lease is up in November of this year, buying our own place. Now, since we are down at home and his work is closer, I've been wanting to know more about those future plans we made together, but his thoughts on everything has changed. My questioning has caused nothing but arguments and tension between us and I am at world's end. He keeps going back to the same answer "don't rush me." The thing is he was ready before all of this and that's what I'm holding on to. I mean what am I supposed to do let everything go? Everything I say to try and make things better only seems to make things worse. I love him and for sure he loves me, but I want to build our relationship back up. I am so confused about everything and where I stand to him. I have no one to talk to about this because they don't understand. And my closest friend, is the one causing all of my tears. So what is there to do? Please if there's someone out there, anyone out there that can point me in the right direction to save my relationship I would love to hear some advice. Thanks so much and god bless.
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female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (27 July 2009):
Maybe commiment has scared him, planning a future is also fun until you see the reality everythings rushing past all at once and you both loose control. Hes focusing on his job and forgetting his priorities, his head just isnt in the right place right now. Dont let everything go if you love him enough then youll stand by through these times that every relationship battles, the problems start when you turn on each other, you need to work together in order to move forward.
Deep down you know the right direction for both you and him, theres no wrong or right way, theres simply your way of doing it. Maybe if he knew what it was he was doing to you hed take a step back and look at things differently. Try talking to him, why not cook a meal sit down and say look i know weve got a lot on but we need to make time for us, i need to know your hearts in this still, if its not then save me the pain and tears and let me go now.
Put all you have out in the open, you cant give any more than that. Wait for his response, look straight into his eyes and see if that love is still there.
It takes two to make it work, your there but is he, make him know that you are and see what happens next.
Best of luck
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