A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don’t want to know my sister anymore . She has turned out to be : selfish ,cold hearted , nasty and manipulative. She gets jealous of anyone and everything . Sadly her current boyfriend changed her beyond recognition . My eldest sister (Caroline ) has mild speech problem - which is only noticeable when she gets nervous / anxious . She uses it as an excuse not to get on in this life. My grandmother always favoured her over the rest of the family (despite whatever anyone else does for her ! , I know I always come last and it shouldn’t be like it ! )I guess as Caroline was growing up she gave her a warped perception of how things actually are (in the family) which has caused endless conflicts over the years giving her the view that she has been treated different by my mother which has not been the case . In fact she has had more out of mum than me and my other sister . She’s turned out to be a spoiled brat. Jealousy between my two sisters (Caroline and Samantha) is obvious. Samantha is a talented singer and dancer and Caroline used to go dancing and so did I, we were all given the same chance and treated the same . Samantha has been to university because she worked so hard whereas, Caroline’s the opposite she thinks the world owes her a living and is lazy and never works at anything - my parents spent £££££ on college courses for Caroline and she just wasted her opportunities another thing my grandmother gave her £300 to do a maths course what did she do didn’t even bother to open a book (my grandmother would never help me out in that way , Caroline‘s her little princess) Caroline’s personality changed for the worst when she was in her late teens (she became selfish , argumentative and just hard to live) . With all the constant arguing and friction is it any wonder by the age of 17 I felt so tired with life . Caroline loves to be the centre of attention. What hurts the most is that she would never do anything out of the goodness of her heart unless it had some benefit for her - like money . She’s never once helped anyone and doesn’t appreciate what she’s had and now what she’s lost.Caroline has an odd choice in friends , basically ‘users’ and she just lets them walk over her . Then when we try and tell her she gets abusive and nasty , then she burst tears when it turns out to be the way we predicted . All her cars (three in total) mum and dad have purchased her . The first one she smashed up whilst larking and laughing about with her friend. The second something went wrong with it and she demanded mum buys her a new car - my sister , grandmother , mother raised the money to buy her a new car and she don’t see why she should pay Samantha and my mother back. When I was learning I needed a car (16 miles to travel to college each day) and the money for my car went on getting Caroline out of debt ! . I finally got my car but it makes me angry is that she has this belief that no matter what mess she gets in mum and dad are there to bail her out - she don’t even care about my parents. She even demanded mum hand over one of her properties to her - she has no right !.She also wished I would fail my first driving test due to the fact she was to tight to but me a card as a result I failed because of anxiety caused by her -(just hours before she made an argument) I passed on my second . She knew I have an anxiety disorder and my mind was always on what she said and it made me upset . It was different when she took all 5 of her tests we had to buy her cards and gifts .She ruined my 18th brought me a £2 watch and by arguing and going out of her way to cause trouble . That was supposed to be my special day - as I rarely have happy times. The Boyfriends - MAJOR PROBLEMS When I was young her first boyfriend punched my in the stomach (for no reason , I was 8 at the time ) he dragged me around like a toy doll in the shopping mall , she witnessed do anything just laughed. He was SCUM he was only after one thing . Thankfully I the relationship fizzled out after 2 weeks. Her next was ‘odd ‘ Tim, was a lay about and was deluding himself that he would make it big time in his little music group . He kept dyeing his hair different colours ( Pink / Green / Blue Mohican ) at least he was always nice to peoples faces . Nan used to think finally she’s met prince charming But then after two years I found out devastating news - he cheated on her. His friend persuaded him to cheat on my sister got two girls pregnant and he turned out to be a right nasty piece of work . Caroline unable to tell us wrote it all on the internet . Where I discovered it I was shocked and I felt sorry for her but took it on myself to tell my family (I didn’t want it eating away at my conscience) - I didn’t as we wanted to help and understand her and also I didn’t want it on my conscience . I felt so sorry for her but at the time I had my own secret problems - ( since the age of 13 I was being bullied and sexually abused at school by another male student as always my problems got ignored by my family) Jack ( current boyfriend ) . Made unforgivable statements about my family ‘your mums a psycho - he hadn’t even met her and your sister Caroline is going to get your Granny‘s house when she is dead- I thought early on he was a gold digger andll his concerned with is scrimping and saving his money whilst living off Caroline . Jack (being a past Grammar school boy ) has this arrogance thati he is better than everyone else .if he put up an argument that the sky is pink you would have to agree . He is also so cold ,nasty and arrogant he has widened the rift between my sister and the rest of the family . He tells people what they can do with there money - What right has he. On one occasion I was walking home from gym at college (in my sports gear) late at night and I called Caroline to pick me up and she said ‘piss off im with Jack and put the phone down on me then I couldn’t get a signal . Well I was nearly attacked this 30 year old man kept following me . Then he made a convocation about me I thought he was trying to be friendly - he was t said some unnerving things then he would leave me alone unless I cuddled him . He grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go - he was squeezing me so tight and saying all these odd things . He finally disappeared than got his car and followed me and told me to get in - I wouldn’t then he went to come back after me I ran as fast as I can, I was lucky I was near an old school friends house and they let me in I was so shocked and upset and I felt sick and upset and I told Caroline and she didn’t care. Jack has Stolen some of my money , put it direct into his bank account , He sold my old phone gave me £7 for it and claimed a £25 gift voucher for himself . slags me and my family off in front of Caroline all the time - (she never sticks up for me or the family when we have been good to him .) Caroline ‘borrowed my bike’ for him and when he slagged me off I said I wanted it back (id rather it go on a scrap heap then give it to him) he threatened me that he will take me to court - yet it was my property , Came over at Christmas ( My sister Samantha had put her self out!) did nothing drank the food and drink then criticised it months later - (we didn’t want him there ! Caroline wanted him there even caused no end of arguments over itMY HEALTH SCARE Recently I was in pain and after having a shower I found a lump and was in incredible pain . My sister Caroline only lives 10 minutes away I told her and asked her to come with me to A+E . - I wanted her there for support (worst thing I could have done ) .When I arrived at Caroline’s and Jacks she had at me saying how the family can piss off and had ago me and even refused to drive me to hospital. In the end she made me drive my car ( whilst I was in pain - Bearing in mind just an hour before I had callasped and was in pain on my own in the bathroom at home . She was also so rude to me and the doctors . Well it turned out the lump wasn’t serious but they had discovered another health problem which I need an operation for . Caroline couldn’t even be bothered to phone me its always I have to go to her . I really cant afford to get involved anymore its draining and its going to interfere with my chances of success at my new college , With reference to my grandmother I have always came last . Yet I cut her lawn , take her shopping and do everything for her what does Caroline do nothing . Then in this argument I had with her and my grandmother she had a go at me and never told my sister off instead blamed me for everything and makes out im the bad one - which I am not . I just felt so hurt and then unknown to them I went back to get my glasses and my Nan said how she no longer cares about me and that she hopes something goes wrong with the scan (I was having the next morning) . Then she stirs things causes yet more conflict and Im the one who cares for Nan and Caroline just angers me ……. I just feel so upset I have had a series of unpleasant events in my life . Now I feel I should take a leaf out of Samantha’s book and just cut myself off completely from Caroline. I have my life and she has hers - she’s made things this way .
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bullied, christmas, debt, grandmother, jealous, money, the internet, university Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (27 July 2009):
It' definitely a tough decision to make, cutting a sibling out of your life. I'm agonizing over the same decision right now.
Really, all you can do is what is best for you. At some point we all grow up and have to live our lives.
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