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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am 27 and for the last 9 months I have had a long distance relationship with a guy I dated 10 months ago when I visited his country. At the time he had just ended a relationship with his girlfriend. I have pretty strong feelings for him. He always teases me about the fact that he knows I have feelings for him but won't admit it. I don't because I’m so scared that maybe I might be a rebound even though its nearly 10 months since the breakup and he says he wants to discuss our relationship in person when I visit again at the end of the year. I've only had one serious relationship which was when I was 18 so I am really out of practice while he has had lots, so I feel really inadequate, in addition I am a virgin while he is not, his previous relationship was a sexual one so I feel like I'm kinda out of his league like he wouldn't want to talk to me. He knows that I don't believe in sex before marriage and says he respects that but I can't help feeling that it might not be enough for him. He hasn't done or given me any reasons to believe so, but I feel so insecure. I am also scared that if things progress in December I will appear really inexperienced as I haven't even kissed anyone since my last relationship. It was pretty abusive and he tried to rape me so I get really scared just thinking about kissing this guy even though I would really love to. I don't know what to do. I keep thinking what if all this means nothing? What if he only wants to have a discussion to end what we have or tell me that he doesn't feel the same way about me? Even when he is out of the country he makes sure I can contact him and we still phone each other. We talk about our deepest feelings and dreams. I really wish I knew exactly how he felt but he says he will discuss everything when he sees me in December when he can see my face and I can't hide my reactions or what I’m feeling behind the phone. Should I be worrying that this spells doom? Am I worrying about nothing? What should I do? Thanks a lot!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, helpfull girl +, writes (1 October 2005):
hello, first of all dont worry he proberly just wants to tell you that he thinks the world of you! and second of all every time you do visit him does he try anything on? you did not say but im gathering no or else you would of said so, so there you go he does prove that he does understands!! why not try visiting him more get him to visit you too, spend more time with each other in a ralationship there should be no december visits there shud be oh id go&visit my partner 2day! once youve spent plenty of time together you will feel more comftorble round each other you will be kissing every minute! he sounds like a really lovely guy who is so into you! please dont hide your feelings away weather ralationship will go sum where or not your still gonna have those feelings so why not get them out in the open feel proud to say yes i have feelings for you more than likely your get the same response back! if he's still contacting you that proves he thinks about you! dont be scared i know easier said than done but the only way to get close&stay close truth/honesty/trust&love there the keys to a really brill ralationship! and as for yhe's past ralationship hey past is past you still liveing in the past how you gonna have a future?
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