A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. I love her to absolute death, but there are two major problems. Number one is the fact that long distance relationships are already sexually frustrating, but she isn't even interested or ready for sex. Number two is the main problem. Being teenagers, we both live with our parents. I don't want to go back to where she lives as I have alot of bad memories. In addition, my mom won't let me go there either. Her parents don't want her to come to where I live. Do you have any advice for either question? It would be greatly appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay, first of all, I never meant that she was supposed to move. I was just talking about brief visits to our town (which is a short distance from where she lives). Second, she told me that she was, in fact, ready for a relationship with me. I would never pressure her into anything, I respect her too much to do that.
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (4 May 2016):
 I am going to assume you asked this question as well: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-we-in-a-serious-relationship-or-not.html
I am also going to be quite blunt with my answer.
It appears from your previous question the decision to move the relationship from friends to girlfriends was yours alone, my concern is that you are bullying your friend into going along with your wishes rather than you respecting her opinions and desires.
Why on earth would you think her parents would allow her to move to your town? How is she to live? Who do you see supporting her if she moves, who is going to pay for her food and clothing and education, who is going to give her some money to buy those small essentials like tissues and tampons and deodorant?
Where is she going to live?
And despite all the above why the hell should she move when you wouldn't move (if you mum would let you) closer to her?
You are living in LaLa land.
Just because you want certain things in your life to be certain ways doesn't mean that's the way it should be or will be.
Stop pushing your friend into being a person she is not comfortable being.
Stop expecting the world to revolve around you.
The average life expectancy for a female in the US is 80, you have your whole life to live yet, stop trying to cram it all into next week.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering. I would just like to say though, that I would never pressure her into anything she wouldn't want. I brought up the topic very lightly and left it there.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (3 May 2016):
 I'm going to be truthful here. I too am in a long distance relationship but given my age and well the fact that both my partner and I work and have arrangements for accommodation and such, it works out perfectly and isn't put under the strain that your relationship is put under. Now, at your age, a relationship here and there seems new and exciting . . . in fact, its expected to be exciting in a sense of going out to the movies etc its all about fun mostly and enjoying the company of the person you're with. Long distance relationships SHOULD NOT be entered into if you aren't financially stable, emotionally ready etc. By the way, at your age, you should not be experimenting with sex nor should you be pressuring your partner for sex because you're not yet at a point where you understand or appreciate that sex is a deep bond, it isn't just purely physical. Your partner just isn't ready and neither are you ready for this relationship. My advice would be to probably find someone closer that suits you better otherwise you're just delaying the inevitable which is a breakup. Regardless of your decision,good luck OP
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A
female
reader, Dionee' +, writes (3 May 2016):
I'm going to be truthful here. I too am in a long distance relationship but given my age and well the fact that both my partner and I work and have arrangements for accommodation and such, it works out perfectly and isn't put under the strain that your relationship is put under. Now, at your age, a relationship here and there seems new and exciting . . . in fact, its expected to be exciting in a sense of going out to the movies etc its all about fun mostly and enjoying the company of the person you're with. Long distance relationships SHOULD NOT be entered into if you aren't financially stable, emotionally ready etc. By the way, at your age, you should not be experimenting with sex nor should you be pressuring your partner for sex because you're not yet at a point where you understand or appreciate that sex is a deep bond, it isn't just purely physical. Your partner just isn't ready and neither are you ready for this relationship. My advice would be to probably find someone closer that suits you better otherwise you're just delaying the inevitable which is a breakup. Regardless of your decision,good luck OP
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A
female
reader, Dionee' +, writes (3 May 2016):
I'm going to be truthful here. I too am in a long distance relationship but given my age and well the fact that both my partner and I work and have arrangements for accommodation and such, it works out perfectly and isn't put under the strain that your relationship is put under. Now, at your age, a relationship here and there seems new and exciting . . . in fact, its expected to be exciting in a sense of going out to the movies etc its all about fun mostly and enjoying the company of the person you're with. Long distance relationships SHOULD NOT be entered into if you aren't financially stable, emotionally ready etc. By the way, at your age, you should not be experimenting with sex nor should you be pressuring your partner for sec because you're not yet at a point where you understand or appreciate that sex is a deep bond, it isn't just purely physical. Your part er just isn't ready and neither are you ready for this relationship. My advice would be to probably find someone closer that suits you better otherwise you're just delaying the inevitable which is a breakup. Regardless of your decision,good luck OP
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (3 May 2016):
 OP, I know you'll be disappointed but the Aunts , although some times can come up with useful advice, do not have a magic wand to cancel your real, factual life conditions and limitations. So : there's nothing to do.
If you are 13-15 and your gf too, obviously and inevitably you will have the hardest time ever carrying on a long distance relationship. You will have time and money constraints and parental restrictions. Said brutally, at your age you are not free to do what you want when you want, and not even supposed to be it,- so it is pointless to embark in an LDR: LDRS are for people who can afford them, in terms of time, money and freedom.
Of course if you hang in there in just a few years the situation may change noticeably, but this is not an advise that I'd give you , to hang in there and keep your life on hold in the vague hope of something ( we don't know what ) that some day ( we don't know when ) can happen.
In these conditions, it's not even a relationship, it's just a childish, comforting fantasy a.k.a. a big waste of time for both. Be here now , and do what it is possible and feasible with some other person who is local, approachable , and that your parents like if you want to minimize obstacles .
As for your other question : whoever you meet, you have to respect their timing. It's not strange that a girl of 13-15 is not into sex yet. Some girls are sexually precocious , some others are late bloomers and do not feel the need to be sexually active until their late teens or even later. That's theirr right and their choice, and nobody should be so selfish , overbearing and presumptuous to try and pressure them or accelerate their process. Doing that , eevn with the best , most loving intentions, turns you ito a young sexual predator and a despicable person.
Your not being at the same level in sexual desires and expectations , simply means that you are incompatible for the time being, and that you have to turn to other girls who are like you in terms of sexual curiosity or experience.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue +, writes (3 May 2016):
 Hi there. Assuming your gf is also between 13-15 Im going be both honest and harsh, not to be mean but with good intention. So here goes... Any boy that pursued my daughter for sex at such a tender age would find himself in some pretty hot water, maybe even legal. Regardless if she wanted it or not. For her, again at this age, is not a problem instead it's perfectly exactly where she should be at. You don't want to be 'THAT GUY' that guilts, pushes or harasses a young woman into doing anything she feels uncomfortable. As for your parents, well Im afraid your welfare is their legal responsibility so what they say goes. Like you, they don't have much choice in the matter. So my advice would be to love her to bits platonically and leave your raging teenage hormones to be taken care of by yourself.
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