A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:okay how can i put this, well one of my best friends is, lets say an attention seeker, but its getting quite serious she makes up stuff fo attention and now belives it herself.She used to self harm really badly but we got her to go an see a counsiler, and its mainly stopped. She then started on the suicide notes, i got them first and yea it scared the life out of me, but after a while i got used to them and not worry. But a few days ago she sent a suicide note to one of our other best friends (who had never got one before) and shes normally a very happy bubbly person, but that just knocked her and she broke down to me crying, which just did it for me, it was bad enough me getting them but now other friends who wernt as strong or used to them as me.i cant take all of this anymore. but then again i still love her as a best mate and dont know what to doo. i've tried talking to her etc. but it does my head in so so much and puts soo much stress on me, that i end up in a state too.i no can see she has problems, and i really want to help her but i dont know how. She bullies her sister now aswell just to show off for me and shes faking stress problems, so bad she now has soo much anger managemet and counciling she has no time to live a proper life.and it destroys me to think i've lose her and shes all just a fake now and lies but i dont know what to do at all anymore.Also im the person that everyoe comes to with their problems, and im very good at hiding my own feelings so everyone just thinks im a very happy person all the time, and no one really knows how much this destroys me soo i would really appreciate to advice and help on what to do please xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2007): Hey darlin. I know exactly what you're going through. My old best friend is 24, she's got s 2 year old and she is a single mom. She turned into an alcoholic and lied about everything, even what she ate (or disn't eat) She was killing herself slowly and making sure I knew about it. I distanced myself, I couldn't stand the stress, the lies and her attention seeking. You have done all you can by trying to talk to her and be there for her. What else can you do? As long as she keeps seeking attention and you keep giving it to her, you're giving her the approval to keep on doing what she's doing. So all you can tell her is that you love her but you can't watch herself do this anymore. Tell her that when she's ready to help herself that you will be there for her. If she comes back and says something mean to you, just say "cancel my subscription, I'm done with your issues"
A
female
reader, Blooregard +, writes (28 August 2007):
This girl sounds very troubled. Counselling doesn't help everyone, but what has she got to lose by trying it? Maybe you should encourage her?I used to self harm but told nobody except people I knew who would not spread it around, so I can see an attention seeker a mile away usually, and your friend seems to have genuin problems. People rarely take these things seriously, and "nip it in the bud" so to speak, that leads to the unthinkable sometimes, your friend needs to talk to someone who will not give her the endless sympathy she THINKS will change her life, but someone who can offer constructive, truthful advice. Either a counsellor or an incredibly strong person rewady to deal out contructive ways to improve her life.Very best of luck
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Hi there,
You seem like a very caring person and your friend is lucky to have you as a confident and someone who she can rely on.
It's great that she has listened to you and is now having councelling and trying to resolve her problems.
I think the worry of all her problems is starting to wear you down a bit now. Does she have a close family? If she has maybe you should keep her parents or carer informed on how she is behaving and tell them about the suicide notes she is sending, perhaps they could help make her understand that although you are all there to support and help her she must understand the effect this is having on you all, that quite rightly you worry about her and only want what's best for her, but her actions are deeply disturbing you all now.
If you are worried that she might not like the idea of you speaking to her parents or carers and take offence, you could ask them not to mention you having the discussion with them, I'm sure they will understand.
No doubt you are a great listener and your friends obviously find it easy to talk to you, but don't start bottling up your own worries or problems thinking your friends have enough problems of their own to be worrying about you, I'm sure they would be hurt to think they cannot return the listening ear and help you when you need to blow off some steam, talk about your own worries too!
I hope this has helped a little, good luck and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (28 August 2007):
 Im sorry to say this but you now need to distance yourself from your friend, she needs more help than you or your friends can give and if you dont start distancing yourselves she will cause one or all of you some seriouse mental anxiety.
She is very sick and if I was you I would discuss this with either your parents or the school councillor, they will know what to do.
It is hard to stay away from someone who you care for but she is hurting you also and will in time make you become depressed or hurt.
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