A
male
age
26-29,
*ed360
writes:Okay, so here's the deal. Once upon a time, when I was 16, I was utterly and madly in love with this girl who I met through one of my friends. We were in a relationship (officially) for about 6 months and I can undoubtedly say she was the first love of my life. We broke up awkwardly, as she was having one of her old flames interfering and started intruding in her life. Ever since, for the next year or two, we kept talking as "friends" and were constantly addicted to each other. I never saw her like that, she always told me she saw me like a friend, which was frustrating. At times out of frustration I would avoid her, but she hated that and always stuck to me and wanted me to be around her. I never had the guts to tell her again how I felt ...I moved to another country for university, and we still talked. But then I made a decision finally to cut her off as it was unhealthy for me. Now, 2 years have passed, I've been around with other girls here and there during this time, but none of them give me that same feeling. Even today, I have tears in my eyes just thinking about her and how I can't talk to her ....the other worse part is that she still has no idea why I cut her off. I never openly told her. She is 18. I need help, should I get in touch with her again and maybe get some closure for the sake of it? Because it still upsets me because I feel I won't fall for anyone like that ever again moving forward.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2016):
 Okay so you can contact her if you feel closure will help you, but after two years of no contact do you really think that is such a good idea? I know you loved her but I think you have her up in a pedestal in your head, and you won't allow yourself to move on.
If you feel it will make you feel better then off course talk to her, tell her that you broke contact because you found friendship to hard, ask her out on a date and see what she says. Maybe you need to hear that she is not interested for you to move forward.
A
female
reader, EFM94  +, writes (29 April 2016):
 I think if it's bothering you this much after two years then yes you should get back in contact. You just need to be ready for the reaction... It can be either good or bad. She may feel the same way about you which you be great! On the other hand she may be in a relationship or she may have changed... Which isn't good!I got in touch with an old flame.. We were on off since I was 18 and he was 22... He is now 25 and I'm 21... Only to find he has completely changed and beds every girl he comes in to contact with even though he said I was always gonna be the one for me. So it was block and bye bye cya later!At least now I know that the person I kept thinking about every day has turned out to be a complete waste of space. But that's closure for me! I was never important to him and that's all I needed to know!Closure is needed in life... Especially when strong feelings are involved. You're only going to torture yourself more if you leave it unresolved. If something becomes of it then great! If not at least you can say you tried and you can move on with your life! Sometimes you've just got to take a risk.I hope this helped! And good luck with whatever you decide to do x
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