A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship with a married man for 18 months we call and text daily. I am seperated from my husband he moved out 4months ago due to my affair. Last week my estranged husband confronted my lover informing him he is naming him in the divorce. My lover says he will not stop seeing me my husband has told me that he will tell his wife my lover is aware of this butsays it does not worry him and to bring it on. I think his wife has an idea something is going on. My question is do the aunts think that relationship has a future?
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affair, divorce, married man, moved out, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Carrot2000  +, writes (2 January 2010):
 Your lover doesn't care if your husband exposes his affair because he has no intention of ending his marriage. Even if his wife finds out, he's not going to leave her and she's not going to leave him. It wouldn't shock me one bit if you're not the only woman he has cheated with. Think about it: if he seriously wanted to be with you, he would have told his wife about the affair himself 18 months ago and the two of you would be living together now. Instead, your husband has left you and is about to put you through a nasty divorce while he still goes home to his wife every night, and the two of you are still sneaking around. This alone should clue you in on the fact that this relationship has no future.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (31 December 2009):
 I agree that married men rarely leave their wives for another woman, and if they do, the new relationship rarely works out in the long run, ...however it is not unheard of.
I know 4 couples who were initially having affairs and ended up marrying. Two have been together for around the 10 year mark, another around 25 years, and my besty buddies mum has been with her man for 35 years!
I have to admit too, whilst all seem very happy, it is particularly hard to look at this latter couple who I know very well, and think they did the wrong thing - they just adore each other, are soooo cute together, and obviously deeply in a love that will last a lifetime. They were just supposed to be together - end of story! That is the fairytale versions tho - reality is usually not so kind to all parties concerned.
If he is prepared to be exposed by your soon to be ex tho, then I must wonder why he is not prepared to admit to his wife now what he is doing and then make a decision about who he really wants to be with. AT least this would be allowing the rejected party the right to get on with their life and perhaps encounter a more suitable and committed partner - something everyone deserves the right to happily have.
Ending one relationship to enter another is understandable, but continually stringing two women along trying to have the best of both worlds is selfish and deceitful.
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A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (30 December 2009):
 It sure is a risky way to start a relationship! No one knows for sure if any relationship is going to work/last.
I can't help thinking though, if he cheated with you, will he cheat on you? Or vice-versa in this case.
Then again, you never know if you don't take the risk.
Your lover doesn't seem concerned about his wife finding out, so maybe it's a loveless marriage, and he sees this as his way out.
Whatever the case, you two have a rough road ahead with all the legalities! I wish you luck!
~BG~
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (30 December 2009):
It's unlikely, but it could happen. He will either try to go back to his wife, or he will use you then dump you further down the line. Married men rarely leave their wives, and when they do it often ends with the lover in the future. That sounds pessimistic, but there it is. However, there is a slim chance it could. It really depends on whether it's love or just a way of getting away from unhappy marriages.
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