A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just read an article "Why men don't want sex anymore" at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/sexandlove/article2220901.ece?OTC-RSS and ATTR=Sex+And+LoveIn summery it sort of surmises that some men go off sex because they feel misplaced and like they have no control when their partner is attractive, self confident and earns a better wage.What do you think?If that is the case in a relationship then what can be done? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 Ah, the Sun, that bastion of balanced, accurate, fair coverage! I'm sure it wins Pulizter prizes for the quality of its journalism.
Anyway, I took a quick peek at the Mens Health Forum, one of the sources cited at the beginning of the article. You have much more to worry about than women being cleverer, more attractive and better paid. It's true!!! According to their last surveys, men are in DIRE straits.
Herewith, a sampling of their recent, cutting edge, scientific surveys:
Jan 2009: 3 out of 4 embarrassed by 'moobs': Many men would consider surgery to reduce the size of their breasts - perhaps more than half according to the latest malehealth snap survey. [maybe having 'moobs' makes men self conscious about having sex?]
Apr 2008: Men don't like their bodies:
You are unhappy with your bodies: 62% of respondents said they weren't happy with how their body looked and a further 7% didn't know. Fewer than one man in three was happy with his body. [yet another possible reason for men going off sex?]
Nov 2007: Desperately seeking sleep
Men aren't getting enough ZZZs. Among respondents to November's snap survey, the majority of men had not had a decent night's sleep for at least a week. [another reason?]
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I actually couldn't find the survey that The Sun quoted. Perhaps it's there, but it's not obvious to me.
Anyway, I could certainly whip up an article quoting those statistics from the Mens Health Forum website, gather a few 'experts', find a few unhappy couples and suggest that the lack of sleep and their concern about how their bodies looked was a cause for sexual drive to diminish. Basically, being too tired and too fat will cause sexual problems, I'm sure I could build a compelling article around that.
And the statistics from Relate could be the result of better advertising of their services or a change in the way they track their contacts. If you go to the Relate website, they list a whole bunch of reasons why men are losing desire. Women making more money than men doesn’t pop up on the list as a major cause.
If this is troubling you, as it appears it might be, I think you should work on your own self-esteem. I know that men are expected to be the bread-winners and there is heavy societal pressure to do so. But the notion that a man has lost control because his partner is attractive, self-confident, and earns a better wage sounds very thin to me. I would hope that the man himself is attractive and self-confident, or at least perceives himself to be. The better wage thing, well, I don’t really know what to say to that. I think that women have been paid less for equal work for years, now that we’re reaching some sort of parity (mostly anyway), I would reject any notion that women go back to being paid less so that their men feel less threatened. It’s ridiculous.
Actually, the information on the Men’s Health Forum and the Relate websites looked pretty good to me. I’d be curious to hear how they reacted to being quoted in that article.
Good luck!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): "A survey of one person, me." - Nice. ^_^
As for OP: there are tons and tons and tons of reasons why men won't have sex any more. Some health related, some lack of sexual attraction, some mental issues/ideas, religion, influences from various factors, etc.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): As a rule, take these "behavioural psychologists" etc with a pinch of salt. There's always a new crop of these articles. "Women 23% less likely to be satisfied" "Conservative women have more orgasms" etc.
Bottom line: It's all useless. Generalizations mean nothing to the individual, especially when it comes to sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): Everyones different, that article was just a sensationalized piece of generalized tripe.
Never trust survey's, they're useless statistics taken from a tiny group of people used to reinforce an idiotic notion.
The article doesn't mention how many men were involved in the survey and unless it was every man in the world then it is inaccurate. I mean what kind of idiot stops on the street and answers peoples surveys, knowing that they're useless and only serve to paint false pictures?
I just did a survey right now that says 100% of 28 year old Irish men think surveys are a load of crap. A survey of one person, me. Just as plausable as any of the others.
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A
male
reader, gumbbo  +, writes (24 February 2009):
Try finding a woman who earns less i guess. Is this sexist? Not sure. I haven't been with a woman who earned more than me, i'm not sure if i would mind really...
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