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"Only time will tell." A good or bad sign for us getting back together?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (3 September 2019) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 September 2019)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I have a boyfriend who broke up with me because we never had the time to see each other which was true but I want him back no matter what it take I’ve decided to change the things I needed to to be the best me possible and I asked him will there every be a chance that we will give us another try later on in the future and he replied only time will tell is that more of a good sign not to lose hope or is it more of a bad sign??

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (4 September 2019):

Fatherly Advice agony auntHow old is he?

What is the age of consent in your state?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2019):

Typo correction:

"You'll feel better before you know it."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2019):

He was politely rejecting you. He really wants to say "no," but that might really hurt your feelings.

You're at that critical-age when someone turns you down, or denies you something; you'll want it all the more.

You're just beginning to learn about boys and dating. In your age-group, teenagers seek popularity and approval from their peers more than anything else. You want to be liked by everyone; but one particular boy saying "no" sort of rubs you the wrong-way. It's embarrassing to be rejected, but you want what you want. You'll try to figure-out ways to get around it. You'll make it hurt worse by doing that!

It's hard to get past it. Like there's something wrong with you; but that's not really the reason. You're just not a good match for each-other.

He will keep moving the timeline, and dancing around your questions; until you get tired of asking. He knows you'll figure it out soon enough. You'll get frustrated, and decide you don't really care after-all!

Sometimes breakups are for good, sweetheart. It hurts, but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you necessarily. It doesn't mean you're not pretty or good enough. It wasn't meant to be, and he was the wrong boy for you. You did give it a try, but it didn't work the first-time. That makes it more unlikely to work if you tried again.

Try to give yourself some time, and put some space between you. You'll feel better better before you know it. That's what's so great about being your age! It takes less time to forget and move on to something better!

I wish you the best, sweetheart. You can comeback as many times as you like to talk about it. We'll be here!

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom +, writes (3 September 2019):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntThink of all the other ways he COULD have answered that question but chose not to.

He COULD have said a straight "yes" but that would have been offering you something he was not sure he could offer. He COULD have said "probably" or "I can see such a time in the future" but these answers would have also made it sound like it was a definite plan. He COULD have said a straight "no" but then he would have burned his bridges with you.

"Only time will tell" is a good "holding" answer. It means absolutely NOTHING. It means he thinks you are desperate enough to hold onto that flimsy straw of hope he dangles in front of you while he looks around to see if he can get any better offers. However, because he has made you no promises, you will have no comeback if he decides not to bother with you again.

If he's between relationships or can't get any other takers then, yes, he will probably entertain hooking up with you. Is that all you think you are worth? Being someone's fallback, their "Plan B"? You deserve someone who really wants to be with you, and you alone. By all means, be the best person you can, but do it for YOU, not for some boy who doesn't even want you. Set your standards a bit higher and you will attract someone better.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2019):

A vague answer which is easier than saying no.

I think in life it's best not to ask questions like the one you asked your ex. If he wanted to still be dating you, then you'd know about it.

As for the future who knows? But his answer is saying that for now he doesn't want to date you.

That would be enough for me to walk away and turn my attention elsewhere.

He's only very young. Lots of young women are everywhere and unless he's totally in love with you, which is unlikely at your young ages, then young guys are going to more interested in trying to date new women, than hang out with just one.

You will also be a lot more attractive without needy questions about whether he might glance your way in future. Be a young woman who is getting on with life and chatting to other guys.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 September 2019):

Honeypie agony auntI think it's a very vague "I don't want to hurt your feelings" non-committal kind of answer. It's a little bit of a IF I can't date someone else or don't find another girl, I "might" maybe date you. Which is NOT a great sign.

If you are 16-17 you are in high school and while I GET that you like him, that having a BF is something you want... I think you should FOCUS on your classes and grades more and LESS on him.

IF he really wanted to BE with you and DATE you, he would tell you and not give you some vague "only time will tell" spiel.

I think you are WAY more into him, than he is into you.

Sorry.

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