A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Ive been dating this guy for 1 week only and I feel like things are moving WAY to fast. He texts and calls me non stop and always wants to see me. He keeps saying he likes me sooo much and is complimenting me saying I'm beautiful, goregous and so amazing almost every 10 mins! Yes it is def flatterning and I do enjoy it, but at the same time I feel hes a bit too forward. As I said, we have only been dating for one week and hes already talking about how we should go away on a holiday together and he even suggested I move in with him and his friend so I would be closer to the city. Whats next? Will be be talking about marriage and children?! I do like this guy, and I do like all the attention hes giving me, but at the same time its got me worried. In a way I'm to afraid to let myself fall for him just yet because I know that although he "really really likes me", it must be for shallow reasons right? I mean how can you honestly know someone after one week? You cant can you? Is it possible he truly does like me? Do I have a need to worry? Ive been told that people who attach quickly is a characteristic of an abuser.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone for the advice.
-Yos, yes that exactly what I'm afraid of, him falling out of love just as quickly as he did! Thats why im so scared to let myself fall for him and attach as I get the feeling he could detatch at any moment in time.
Ask oldersister- yes he is def expecting me to put my life on hold for him and change things for him and that does anoy me. like he wants me to move in with him but i cant afford to move in with him because at the moment im a university student living with my parents and if i move out of home they wont support me financially at all. but he doesnt seem to understand this.
I'll talk everyones advice and take things slow
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): I would be very leary of this man. He is pushing you for a reason and it may not be good. Some people can only put their 'best foot forward' for a very short time, so they come on strong and then die out just as fast. Only time will tell if this guy just genuinely finds you to be the love of his life or he is seriously mental. Be careful!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2008): Way too fast... want's you to move in after a week. You don't have to finish with him, but as others have said, please TREAT WITH CARE.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 July 2008):
Hi
Was just going to say about the abuser bit, then saw your last sentance. Sometimes, and obviously by no means all the time, it can be a symptom displayed by the bad boy/girl. Ive experienced it once myself. Within 5 weeks he 'loved' me and rang me drunk to tell me he was upset that i didn't feel the same way. Told him i'd only known him 5 weeks?! Needless to say i didn't listen to those instincts of mine, he was living in my house without us even discussing it within about 3 months, and yes, ended up lying, a few times, drinking, a lot and avoided ever telling me he was basically a pikey. A right charmer though! Most disfunctional relationship ive ever been in without boring you with the details, and hopefully the only one i ever will be!
Like the other poster said, tread with caution. Just be aware. I wish i had been at the time! Sounds like you are quite on the ball though. Having said all that, he might just know you're a brilliant catch and simply just be coming on a bit too keen too quick, nothing more, he could be a diamond! Only you will know that, but he should be giving you time to get to know him and find that out...over time!
Good luck!
C xxxxx
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A
male
reader, Yos +, writes (21 July 2008):
The problem with people who 'fall too fast into love' is they also tend to quickly 'fall fast out of love'. You can be sucked into a whirlwind romance, only to find yourself quickly ejected when the storm is over.
People like him frequently have problems driving their behaviour. Either insecurity that creates a need for validation (from you in this case), or a fantasy-driven view of relationships that puts someone up on a pedestal, and then shatters that image when they finally get to know 'the real you'.
Handle with care.
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A
female
reader, xxkissxx +, writes (21 July 2008):
hey huni,
it sounds that the feelings are not mutual, if you are worried that things are moving to fast you should tell him how you feel there is no point keeping it to yourself as this how relationships dont work out, the point in being in a relationship is that you can talk to your partner, yes it may hurt is feelings but if he truly likes you how mush he says he does then he will respect your wishes,
hope this helps x
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