A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i need some advice. my boyfriend and i have only been together for 4 months. after the first week it started going down hill. before he asked me out he would send me thousands of text messages everyday just telling me he is thinking about me.. and now im lucky if i get one. he would always tell me how beautiful i am, and how i make him so happy.. now i have to force it out of him. i feel like he doesnt care about me anymore. he never acts like it. when i try talking to him about it he just gets mad and says i should know how he feels. i always get the feeling that i am just another friend to him, because thats how i get treated.. i think he spends way to much time with his friends or his band, and if i ask him to come over for a few minutes it seems to be a big hassle. we never go anywhere together. he doesnt take me out to dinner or buy me special presents.. but i buy him gifts all the time, i dont really care if i get something back, but it would deff. be nice to get a little something. when we do actually make plans to go out and do something, they always seem to get dropped. my friends hate him and always tell me i should ditch him. but i care for him and i want to be with him. but im not sure what to do. what do i do?!
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female
reader, aunty t  +, writes (9 March 2007):
 I know that you really care for this guy but is he really worth it. It sounds to me that he is having much more fun with his band and friends and leaving you out suits him. To be honest Im sure its worth fighting for.You have tried talking to him and that hasnt worked. I suggest you start spending more time with your friends stop buying him stuff and give him a taste of his own medicine. Let him see hes not as important to you as he thinks. If he doesnt cop on after this then dont spend any more time worrying about him and move on.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (7 March 2007):
 You need to decide whether you can continue like this. He sounds quite immature and not willing to compromise with the things he wants in his life to make the relationship work. If he cared about you enough, he would make sure he made time for you and made you feel special.
For a lot of men, the chase is what they really like. The original part of the relationship: meeting, getting to know each other, flirting and game playing then, eventually, having sex. For some men, and women, once this is over, they feel there is nothing left: the fun has gone and they don't really feel much for that person at all.
It sounds like he was really into the relationship at first but is getting bored. I don't know whether he's met someone else or not, or just wants some space but he can't mess you around anymore, you need to know what's going on. Men don't tend to like needy women but we all need to be spoilt sometimes, don't we? A little compliment or pressie here and there is not too much to ask and he seems to have forgotten this. You're putting everything into the relationship and he's putting in nothing but is reaping the rewards.
You need to talk to him. Find out if he is committed to making this work, if he is, then tell him what he does that makes you mad or upset. Tell him you want that spark back, like it was before. If he doesn't seem willing to change things and make an effort, I think you know what you have to do. It's only been 4 months and this is happening? I don't think there's much future do you?
Good luck and be strong, you deserve better.
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