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Only 5 days left to ask work colleague out but I'm shy!! Please help!!

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 14 March 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi all,

I have just recently found myself attracted to a colleague I have worked with for around 2 years, a few weeks after realising this we were told he has been given a really short amount of notice to leave, I have battled with the idea of telling him but lose my nerve when the opportunity arises.

Basically I now have 5 days to either do something or just leave it, any suggestions on what I should do/say???

I must point out I am extremely shy and anytime I have wanted to speak to someone I have feelings for I can never find the right words and they end up drifting away or being snapped up by someone else.

Thanks for reading

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

Oh and in addition to the "One question...If he has no more job...how can he pay for your date?" comment, him having a job and paying for things is not important to me, I'd rather have him in my life with nothing than not in my life loaded

:o)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

Hi all,

Thanks for your comments so far, I should have probably added that a lot of us are going out on his last day for a leaving do, I was hoping to take an opportunity then but I have found out today that a few of the staff have their suspicions I like him so if I try and talk to him alone on the night and it doesn't go as planned they will more than likely figure it out and it will spread throughout the department.

I really don't want to miss a possible opportunity but I have never been good on timing, are there any men out there who have had a woman give them a note confessing attraction and it work out??

Thanks again

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

concetrate on telling him how you feel about him speak from your heart, and you will not feel shy. if you feel strongly about him tell him opportunities don't come often. i know you'll do well.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

One question...If he has no more job...how can he pay for your date?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

As long as your fantasies aren't that this will end like a Rom-com b/c in actuality you will be putting all your cards on the table and not get the response you were hoping for. If you are okay with telling him and him just being flattered than do it but if you are wanting him to ask you out from there...don't. he'll keep in touch if he likes you and ask for your number, all you have to say is you'll miss working with him!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

I'd ask him out for a coffee after work one day, just as a friend, and see what happens from there :)good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2011):

All you can do is bite the bullet and ask him. If your too shy then just give him a note, email or even a text. All you have to say is "I'm sorry to hear that your leaving, and let's get together for coffee". There is little chance for rejection in this because its just your way of maintaining this relationship, not necessarily dating.

However I'm curious. Has he expressed interest in him? Did you flirt with him? If he hasn't asked you out, which is expected of most men. Then I would guess he doesn't know of your true feelings.

I know how you feel. I am way too shy too and have lost many opportunities because of it.

Good luck!

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A female reader, dietcoke.1 United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2011):

Just tell him ! You only have five days left whats to loose. The worst thing that could happen is that he says hes not interested but hes leaving soon so there wont be any embarrasing after effects ! However he could be interested and glad you toon the innitiative. You have nothing to loose but perhaps a lot to gain :) good luck x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2011):

Hi - look on this another way. You have just been given the most wonderful opportunity to ask him out.

Just tell him you're sorry to hear he's leaving and ask him if he'd like to go out for a farewell drink. This way you won't be embarassed if he says "No", because it's not as though you're asking him out on a date. You're just being a friendly colleague saying "Goodbye".

If he does go out with you for a drink, and providing you've had a nice time, tell him you've had fun and suggest the two of you could go out again.

Best of luck!

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