A
female
age
26-29,
*fergie
writes:Ok so at the beginning of the year i met this guy and we hung out alot and we ended up kissing and spending alot of time together but we never actually dated. I found this kind of odd but i never questioned it.then about halfway through the year, one of my good friends came up to me and said that he had been "cheating" on me with my best friend and another girl who he had been dating for the past seven months. i wanted to cry but instead i told him to never speak to me again and he begged for me to come back, then about three moths later we ended up talking again and he wants to hang out with me now but im still a bit skeptical. everytime this other girl is with him she hugs him and says Hello Darling and Youll always be MY darling! its quite annoying but he doesnt seem to notice that shes flirting out the whazoo with him. either that or he just lets her. im sooo so jealous (one of my major faults) what should i do???
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (14 March 2011):
 sounds like he is completely unmoved by her flirting. Based on his reaction to this other very demonstrative girl he is uninterested i her.
Sure she has a feeling of affection for him.
But he is not returning the affection.
So she is no threat whatsoever.
Try not to get consumed with jealousy. It is a wasted emotion. It wastes lives. Jealousy ruins lives and poisons relationships. Try to banish the jealousy gene from your life. Either a person treats you with respect or they do not. But do not imagine there is a problem when it does not exist. Many mis-read signs and blow up 'nothing' into 'something' even though no cheating happened. But if someone really is unfaithful then they are history. Goodbye. Adios. Finito. Don't waste time pleading with a cheater, just leave.
Hmm? He wants to hang out now. Promising. You are still very young and he needs to treat you respectfully.
You are correct to be sceptical.
Do not allow him to leave you wondering how important you are to him.. He needs to earn your support this time.
But he should not try to push you towards more than you are ready for yet.
Expect the best from him and if he fails to deliver a respectful friendship to you, then discard him to the mercy of the rest of the girls, willing to accept your crumbs.
Best Wishes, Abella
A
male
reader, anonymous26  +, writes (14 March 2011):
Hey. There is nothing wrong with being jealous. Actually, have you thought about it in the perspective that maybe he wants to make you jealous!!(JUST A POSSIBILITY)I suggest the best thing to do is have a long chat and tell him what you have typed here and show him that you are concerned and want to know whats going on!!Ask him about this other girl or give him a choice to choose either you or the other girl, because its not fair for him to kepp playing with your feelings like this!!!Incase he chooses her its his loss not yours!!And there will be a perfect boy better than him waiting for you!!Stay safe!! May god bless you!!
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