A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm pregnant and only 15. i'm scarred and i dont know what to do. my boyfriend is going to stay with me no matter what and i know this because he told me. i just need help on what to do when pregnant and only 15. how do i deal with it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Legioness  +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Ok I get you jessica, fair enough, it was just the choice of words, in a way I saw it more as, I dunno, a subliminal 'get an abortion or put it up for adoption'.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): good luck girl !!!theirs ways to make it work. Be strong keep your head up.and CONGRADULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): If you think you are mentally, emotionally, and financially ready to bear another human being, then go through with it. Are you going to finish your education? Will your family help you? Ask yourself those questions.
Have you thought about abortion? Getting rid of the thing will fix your problems fast but can you handle it? If not, what about adoption? Can you grow it for 9 months then hand it off to somebody else?
This is the biggest decision on your ordeal. If you go through with it, remember that it's the rest of your life. If you decide to go through with it, it's all your decision and you should also decide to be the best Mother you can be. Once you make your decision, you can deal with everything as it comes; small steps.
Once it's all over, I hope you get smart about the penis + vagina equation, that is unless you consciously decide to have children when you feel ready.
Whatever decision you make will be the right decision for you. Don't let anyone else tell you different. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (12 March 2009):
 To Legioness:
I would never force my opinion on someone, ever. I just give my thoughts on a subject when a person asks, and my thought is that this is the best route. She doesn't have to take that course of action, it's just what I would do.
I know we agony aunts come from all walks of life, and nothing makes me more qualified than the next. But if our question asker reads my profile, she will see that I got pregnant as a teenager. I never got to make a choice in the matter, as I miscarried, but abortion was certainly on the top of my list.
She is coming to us to get the whole range of feedback. Whether it's for or against abortion, or adoption. I feel she is owed my honesty as much as she is owed yours. I expect nothing less from us here at Dear Cupid.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2009): TALK TO YOUR PARENTS. They will not be happy, but they hopefully can help. If not them, talk to some adult you trust that can give sound advice.
Also, having an abortion is something you WILL regret for the rest of your life. It will haunt you, and you will have a huge stigma if people find out. Remember the easy way out is rarely the right way out.
I have met countless people who have given their babies up for adoption or have had abortions. I have still yet to meet someone who doesn't regret it.
I have met many single mothers, and almost all of them have had no regrets for keeping it. It will be hard and you won't have much of a party-style life, but when you see your baby you probably will not care.
I know I didn't when I first saw my daughter. I wasn't 15, but I was still young.
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A
female
reader, LoveHearts101 +, writes (12 March 2009):
Everyone needs to stop scaring this poor girl with some of those horrible comments.
First of all, Freeze. Take a Deep Breath.
As suggested, get another pregnancy test and go to a free clinic i.e. Planned Parenthood or any others you may know about. Get chacked out. They will give you plenty of information and support.
Secondly, talk to your parents. Explain the situation. You will need support because no matter what your decision is, their help is crucial.
You may love your boyfriend, he may promise, and perhaps he will stick around, but don't rely on it. Make choices according to your belifs, your values, and your plans for the future.
do what you and your parents think is right.
and if anything, I am here for you because I know how terrified you must be right now.
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A
female
reader, bd2009 +, writes (12 March 2009):
jessica i do not like your answer. having a baby does not mean your life is over. yea its going to take a little longer to achieve your goals, but what maters is that you do not give up. keep going to school and do what you have to do in order to get ahead in life.
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A
male
reader, achilles95 +, writes (12 March 2009):
 Alright I kinda know what your feeling like because my sister is 15 and pregant. First you need to decide if u want to have it. I'm not sayin go and have an abortion but adaption might be a good idea. You need to see if you can take care of this baby. You can get money from the government to buy baby formula. But that can be expensive. Also you need to be sure if your boyfriend is gonna stay with you because your gonna need all the support you need. You also need to make sure you are able and willing to miss some school. Well I hope this was help and please let me know what you decide. Thank you.
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A
female
reader, Legioness +, writes (12 March 2009):
And jessica, I usually love your answers to people, but I really dont like the way you're 'urging' and 'encouraging' her to get rid of the baby somehow. Sorry but there's just certain things that I dont agree with.. And im not on about the abortion adoption thing, I dont have a problem with any of those things, just when people try and force their opinion on someone, use of language determines forcing and sharing an opinion.
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A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (12 March 2009):
I'm sure he says he loves you and will be with you now, but don't expect much. Few teen fathers stick around for the long haul.
You are in a very heavy situation that is quite difficult for most young people to grasp the severity of.
I am personally pro choice, and would urge you to have an abortion so that you can achieve the most out of your life. When you are older and done with school and more settled with someone more mature, then you will be able to have kids and take care of their every need.
If abortion isn't your thing, then I encourage you to talk to social services about adoption. Your school guidance counselor will know who to contact that can give you all the information you need.
Basically, I don't believe that you are old enough to have a baby, and it's nothing against you at all. But imagine how scared you are right now. Now, how scared will you be when that baby has medical bills, you had to drop out of school, and the daddy runs off because he can't handle the responsibility?
Please think of your options. Do what is right by you.
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A
female
reader, Legioness +, writes (12 March 2009):
Also, i've come to notice on here, when concerning teen pregnancies, there are a few people who will say you should abort or opt for adoption, dont listen. No one else can make that decision but you and your boyfriend :)
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A
female
reader, Legioness +, writes (12 March 2009):
First thing first make sure you are definately pregnant. If you've only took one test take another just to be certain. Next off, speak with your boyfriend about what you both want. Once that's established find someone who is older and wiser who you can speak to, whether it be a counsellor, your doctor, a friends older sibling or parent whoever. Think about telling your mum, dont be scared of this, yes It'll be a shock to her but she'll play a big part in helping you through this, and help get you key appointments and such. Lastly, keep us posted, us aunts are rather good for moral support too, ya know :) I wish you all the best hun :) x
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