A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,for the past few months I've been talking to a guy online. It's gotten pretty serious and we've entered into a long-distance relationship. He's coming to visit in a few months and he says he loves me. I think I love him too but I can't be sure. Sometimes I feel pressured into talking to him. I can go a few days without wanting to talk to him but he's always eager to talk to me and can get very annoyed when I'm late coming online. I worry that I think I love him purely because he loves me and not for the person he is.I've never been in a relationship prior to this so I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is normal or not. I don't feel entirely comfortable and I'm not sure if that's something that comes with time or if I should break up with him.I'd appreciate any advice. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2009): Make dates for when you will meet him. Dont get into a habit of "every day at the same time" you know? Makes dates a week in advance for example, for when you will meet that week. And agree on a time frame, two hours? 6 hours? Dont let it drag on. This way you can control how often you meet and wont have to feel pushed. If he asks why you wont see him all the time, tell him you need your personal space and that you do have a life offline that needs to be attended too.
First take care of yourself in a relationship! If you are happy, that will make him happy.
A
female
reader, Lilly Rose  +, writes (20 July 2009):
 You don't love this man if you have never met him.....you need to meet first before you decide if its love or not....you might not even get on when face to face...so before you start thinking so serious....meet him!!
...............................
A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (19 July 2009):
 Young lady,Long Distance Relationships rarely if ever work. This guy has put all his eggs in one basket and seems to be relying upon you at all times of the day. The bad thing about online relationships is that since you are talking to a screen, it is difficult at best to decipher a person's tone, or frame of mind unless you are physically with them.I suggest you slow way down, and be firm in telling him this. If this is your firts relationship you are bound to have a hiccup or two, but don't let anyone pressure you (online or otherwise) to be their activity committee. I'd just tell him that you will have to meet him in person in order to form a true opinion as to where the relationship goes. If he is angry about that, tough shit. If he loves you as he says he does he will understand and look forward to the day you meet.I think this guy may have a lot of unrealistic expectations of you. Thats a good way to kill an online relationship.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2009): Be careful sweetheart, he could just be keen, desperate or of more concern, controlling. Take it from me, in any relationship, the woman should always be in control of the relationship, carry on as you are, if you dont want to talk then do not allow yourself to feel intimidated or bad for only wanting things to progress how fast YOU want them to. Be strong and act confident, act as if he needs you more than you need him. That is the way women must be, good luck. x Paul
...............................
|
