A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:im just out of 41/2 yr relationship i have 2 kids,we knew a yr ago it was over but i thought he would change he didnt so i finally got the courage to ask him to leave.it was hard, 4mths later im moving on.i'v liked a friend of mine for a while now,i let him know had to do alot of chasing after him as im good lookin he has very low self esteem...he thought i was messing.. anyway last nite we wer in the same bar after few drinks i went up to talk to him we had a laugh.left the bar together wen back to his...i have never in my life had a one nite stand.. but i really liked him and slept with him.. im afraid now he is gona think i do this all the time and think im cheap....im really embarrassed about it! wat do u think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2009): Don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. Just know any time you heavily chase a guy and deliver sex at his doorstep, he'll be thrilled but probably won't want anything more. It's like if someone left a $100 on your table, you probably wouldn't invest the money in your IRA, you'd blow it on something fun! He didn't have to earn anything with you, he invested nothing, so you don't get to reap any returns.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 Please don't get your hopes up, no doubt this is just a one night stand. Surely he would have found the time to speak to you, if he wanted more.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni txt him to see how work had went the nxt day... his answer seemed very cold he just said terrible goin to bed now.... and that was it he didnt even ask how i was and i havent heard from him since....
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (27 May 2009):
 Indeed, do not feel ashamed or anything such. You are a grown woman and we hope all works out well for you and him. Best wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the answers guys dont feel so bad now....
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A
male
reader, rocknroll +, writes (26 May 2009):
His low self esteem is worrisome, but as long as you care for each other, have eachother your spotlight and be the target of the others spotlight, what you did will only speed up the relationship. Who knows, you both might be on the quickest ride of your life, and end up moving in together and getting married.
It can happen.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (26 May 2009):
Do not be so quick to assume what he might think. If he knows that you were previously in a 4-1/2 year relationship, then he should realize that you are not normally so promiscuous. Let him contact you first after this foray and, if you would enjoy more with your friend, then see where it leads. You can later tell him that it was not usual for you, but my advice would be not to make a big deal out of it.
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A
female
reader, Fiona xxx +, writes (26 May 2009):
Quite a proportion of people have had a one night stand or two, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are in the habit of these things. I think a lot of things can lead to a one night stand, a lot of pent up emotions.
Perhaps you are just shocked with yourself.
Did he give you the impression that he's in the habit of one night stands?
What I mean is that you could have had that impression of him, you could have thought he's done that before; or he could have had that impression of you. Or either of you could have guessed the other doesn't normally do that kind of thing. I think that's part of the thrill, behaving in a way you don't normally do, doing something a bit out of character. It's also a buzz because you don't know if it's out of character, or routine for the other person either.
At the end of the day, don't be embarrassed because you both chose to do what you did at the time.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): If he has low self esteem and is such a great guy and he knows you'v been chasing him for a while. I'm sure he will understand. Even talk to him about it and make sure he knows you intend for a serious and committed relationship with him. He won't think you are cheap then. Cheap is if you left it at a one night stand. Make him aware of your situation and i'm sure he will understand. Good luck.
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