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female
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anonymous
writes: I met a guy four yrs ago whilst travelling and he moved countries to be with me. We had a really great relationship and enjoyed being together and were very comfortable and talked alot. After 2yrs of living together,i had a miscarriage and he confessed after this that he had been unfaithful. We split and didnt see each other for 2months after which time we started spending time together again.He seemed to have changed or at least grown up a bit. I got pregnant again and after about 6 weeks he wanted me to have an abortion.I didnt understand why but he confessed that he felt like a phoney as he had cheated on me again. i split with him and decided to go it alone.he is now really happy about my pregnancy and offers me support. He is working away from my home town and spent a lot of money coming down for 1 night so he could come to my 20week scan. He is desperate to be a family and although i have serious doubts about whether he will be loyal to me,i wonder whether i should give my baby a chance of having 2 parents together or stick to my original plan to go it alone. I really dont know what to do. i love him and our relationship was so good apart from the infidelity and i beleive he loves me and wants to make a go of things and be a happy family.i think that being a parent can be life-changing and maybe things can be different but at the same time,he couldnt be faithful before so would why he be now?
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female
reader, Sis6372 +, writes (18 May 2006):
I think you need to look at this seriously. It can hurt the baby in the long run, if he continues to hurt you, that hurts your child, if you resent what he did before your child will feel that also. My boyfriend has 2 little boys 5 and 3, he was in your situation and got out. He's happy now and says it was the best thing he's ever done for his kids. We raise them together, even though they know who their mom is they can sense that she's not a good person. They love her but have harsh feelings towards her, even at their young age and with no influence about what really happened, they can sense that she's not a good person. Be careful, you don't want your child to see you in a relationship that is harmful towards you. Good Luck!
A
male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (18 May 2006):
 I believe people deserve a 2nd or even a 3rd chance. You have to find a place in your heart to forgive him. I know its used up and you really don't feel like he can be faithful but anyone can change and only those who have not sinned cast the first stone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2006): Just because he loves you, it doesn't mean he won't cheat.
I think you need to address the problem of why he has cheated in the past. There must be a reason for it, and when you can understand this better, you'll feel more confident in judging whether or not he will cheat on you again.
Fatherhood can be a life changing thing for a bloke, and it could be enough for him to change his ways completely!
Like I said though, you need to get to the root of why he has cheated in the past - only then you can decide whether or not you want to try and trust this guy again. Good luck with everything and your pregnancy :)
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