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female
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anonymous
writes: I am so confused. I had to take a break from my boyfriend of 2 years because I don't know if I'm really happy. I have been talking to this other guy at work and I think I actually like this other guy. Problem is he has a girlfriend of 3 years and I'm the first girl he's talked to in 3 years. I know I want to take a break from my current relationship but I'm the first person he's ever been with and he's afraid to take a break. He won't even listen to me. And I'm afraid to just go out on a whim and take a break but not have that other guy there for me because of his girlfriend. Why am I feeling this way? Should I continue seeing this other guy? Why do I feel so bad when guy #2 doesn't call or text me everyday? Me and guy #2 have not actually cheated either, all we have done was talk. We're thinking of being friends with benefits, is that a good idea?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): friends with benefits? well would you both be breaking up with your current partners and doing that, or is the plan to stay with your currents and cheat? because if you're planning on breaking up with your partner for someone who's just going to be a friend with benefits, is that really worth it to you? or if you're planning on staying with your current, and hooking up with that other guy, that's just wrong. i would recomend maybe taking a break, figuring out which guy you like the most, and go from there. because even if you don't wind up with this other guy, you shouldn't stay in a relationship that's dead.
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (3 August 2006):
 Hi dearie,
If u feel u need a break from your relationship then u should take one. You should explain to him whay u need to take a break and if u can give a time frame let him know how much time u need to sort out what is bothering u.It is good to take a break becos if u dont u might end up being frustrated not sorting out what is in your heart, let him know this. It is also necessary to know that taking a break is risky becos there is the possiblilty that you might loose your boyfriend in the process.
I dont also think u should take a break becos of the possibility that u might heat it off with guy 2.This guy has been in steady relationship now for 3 years and if u go into this u might end up complicating things for yourself and getting hurt. You arent even sure if this guy feels the same way as you do since u mentioned he justs wants you to be his friend. So i would suggest you take a break for yourself and try and sort out those emotions without getting more conflicting feelings for yourself.
I hope i have been of a little help.Take care and goodluck. kelly
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A
female
reader, immuno +, writes (3 August 2006):
 It sounds like guy #2 just wants to be friends and you are trying to persuade him to take it to the next level. It doesnt seem fair to any of you to keep your guy as a backup plan. You sound afraid of being alone. Why not just take a break and work on becoming a more independent and stronger person? Enjoy your freedom for awhile before jumping into another relationship. Chances are if you talk this guy into doing something he doesnt really want to do and things dont work out between the two of you, you will have destroyed not only your friendship but also his relationship. I personally think that cheating has various levels, one of those being "emotionally".
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