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female
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anonymous
writes: I am in a dilemma, I have been single for over a year after seeing someone whom I met at work. We were together over 3 years. We were always professional at work even through it was common knowledge that we were a couple. Since moving sections within the office at the beginning of the year I have become increasingly attracted to a colleague, we have known each other for years and have indeed been out om many office night outs. He too he has had an office relationship and is also reluctant to get involved with someone from work. To hide my feelings I have become over time very critical of his work and recently we have had several arguments over petty things within the office. This resulted in neither of us speaking to each other. We have tried to clear the air when he stated he was unhappy at the way I was treating him. What should I do ? There is definite sparks between us but neither of us are acknowledging the attraction. What should I do ?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (3 August 2006):
 I think you should avoid having a relationship in work. I know lots of people have long-term relationships with work colleagues but many relationships don't work too! Work relationships are problematic when you split up because you still have to see that person professionally if not personally, and if it all ended bitterly then it can be horrible. It can also have implications for your career - whatever the rights or wrongs of that. If the office gossips get to work on your relationship then it can hinder your promotional prospects - some companies ban work-based relationships as they feel they are inappropriate and feel that it is unprofessional conduct. It seems to me that you two are bickering already and you are not off the starter block yet - it maybe sexual tension or something worse? I can understand why he would be reluctant to date someone from work. Maybe you should just skip over this one and move onto someone less complicated.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (3 August 2006):
 I think that you should go for it! There's no reason why two people that work in the same place can't be together, most people meet their life partners at work! Just keep things professional at work and save the relationship stuff until you get home ;) !!!
Obviously, this could cause some problems, as it has done for you both in the past but that can't ruin your future. Where else are you going to meet someone sober enough to get to know them? Work is really where most people come across the person they will spend the rest of their life with. If you do get together, it's unlikely you'll be working at the same place forever.
Just follow your heart, is all I can say to you. I think you deserve to be happy and there's no reason you can't be just because the person you love gets up in the morning and goes to the place as you to work. Don't let the past ruin the future. Talk to him and tell him you want to give it a try. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2006): I think you should write him a letter! That always works for me whenever I wanted to get someones attention. find out what he favorite color is and write him a letter with that same color pen. Explain to him how you feel about him and tell him why your acting so crazy. Tell him why you were arguing with him over something so stupid. Tell him that you really want to be with him, but your not quite sure about having another office relationship. Tell him that you're not ready to jump into another relationship, but you want to start out as friends and see where it goes from there!
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