A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Call me narcissistic for saying this, or call me delusional: I always wonder why so many of the adults in my life are so visibly attracted to me. It's my professors, mostly, who seem so interested in talking with me, and, during this time, flirting with me. My mother tells me it's my "maturity" (I'm careful with using this word) and politeness that instantly win people over, and she may well be right. But, it's agonizing to me that I attract adults, because once I've attracted them and they begin to develop feelings for me, I reciprocate those feelings and usually fall deeply in love. I've crushed on and loved so many people who have been painfully off-limits to me, usually because of marital status and age - it's a recurring pattern that must come to an end! Who else is preternaturally mature and attracted to older people?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): It is possible for me to immerse myself in the company of people my own age, but I struggle with relating to those my own age sometimes - it sounds holier-than-thou, but I'm just being honest. It's not a rule that I cannot connect with young people; I have a few friends my own age who I feel I can truly commune with. Still, I find myself relating better to older people. And, yes, I think I do not-so-secretly love the attention. I love the idea that people believe I'm "special" in that wunderkind kind of way. Yet, the attention becomes inconvenient when I find myself returning the feelings older people tend to develop for me, usually with even stronger feelings. I don't always respond this way. - I like to think that if I develop feelings for an attention-giver, it's for particular qualities I find attractive about this person, not merely for their overtures. I'm well aware, though, of the psychological phenomenon that we find those we know to like us instantly more attractive. It's interesting, all of this. What seems to have prompted this post is the fact that I'm still very much in love with someone who is happily married (it seems this way), a little less than three times my age, but who was never been embarrassed, disconcerted, or ashamed in flirting with me as openly and frequently as she did. (It was a little more than flirtation, actually; the person I speak of is a professor who really admired my work and seemed to want to get to know me better on account of it. Once she did, she became very taken with me - very obviously so - and her feelings appeared to strengthen with time. Of course, mine did too.) We communicate quite regularly, but don't see each other on a regular basis anymore. She still has a hold on me. The worst part is I think she's on to me! But I guess this can't be so bad; with all of her teasing, she has to know that I'm on to HER. So, I guess we both now know that we're attracted to one another. Great. But we can't have each other. I guess the world'll go round.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Omg! I feel the exact same way(except I don't fall for them).its actually a little weird to me.I mean its nice to be liked by someone but not when they're old enough to b ur dad.
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A
female
reader, Dani28  +, writes (9 January 2009):
Is it not possible for you to put urself in an environment with people ur own age? Do u secretly love this attention??
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A
male
reader, gettingmarriedsoon  +, writes (9 January 2009):
Ask yourself this question: DO you want them to fall in love with you?
The answer could be revealing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): I have the same problem. Right now I can't get over a man who is 22 years older than me. I don't know what it is but he just seems so right. But every time I turn around someone is telling me it's so wrong.
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