A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been friends with benefits with a guy for sometime now. the thing is, he doesnt like it when i see other guys and because we've been close friends for a long time i respect that and i have chosen not to see anyone else. but recently, hes been seeing another girl. he keeps saying that they are friends, but i know that he is going out with her in the hopes that he will come to like her, as he has asked me to be with him and ive said no. he tells me how much he cares about me and how he would really like to be with me and how he will wait till im ready but he also said he knows he doesnt have a chance and he doesnt deserve me, and how he thinks being with him is not something i want, and so he is trying to get over all of it by trying to make himself fall for this other girl. hes screwed me over in the past so its no surprise i have a hard time trusting him. i do want to be with him, but its hard to tell if hes lying or not to get what he wants, because i know hes the type of guy who likes having a girl in his life. also, if he honestly wants to be with me he shouldnt be seeing another girl, right?im not sure whether or not i should just be friends with him right now or if hes worth the risk
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): well yes we have had sex and after i had said no to being with him we still remained as friends with benefits. but truth, when he did ask me to be with him i was waiting for something else to tip the scale so that i would say yes, because i want to say yes, i just wanted to wait and see if i could really trust him again. but just as im thinking of saying yes he tells me that hes seeing this other girl, making me question whether he really does want to be with me.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Sweetie he was interested in you, he asked you if you wanted to be with him and you said NO you do say that you are friends with benefits, so are you saying that after you told him that you don’t want to be with him that you still remained friends with benefits? Can you imagine how confused this guy must be, you said you weren’t with other guys because of him (not seeing other guys) but you weren’t with him either???????? I don’t really understand this, perhaps you can elaborate a bit more as to how this worked, when you have sex with a person (if you did) you create an emotional bond between the two of you, and how confusing is it to get mixed signals from a girl, and sex and all the emotions that comes with it, but not getting a commitment, sweet heart I am sure that you know in your heart that this boy cant be blamed for what he did, what you need to do now is decide what you want from him if it is friendship only leave the benefits out of it, give him the chance to go try and find this love elsewhere, but you cant string him along, give all of yourself or nothing at all, Good luck dear, and please keep us posted
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