A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I know that this is a long story but please read it and give me good answers. I'm so sad. I met this guy on craigslist weeks ago. ( I'm a guy by the way so yeah I'm gay.) He came over my house and we talked and got to know each other. He was very nice and we hugged and kissed. I'm 19 and he's 34 so he's a bit old but doesn't look like it. lol. Ever since we have been talking on yahoo messenger about every day. He said he was on vacation from his job so he had to go back work because he was busy. (He's an accountant.) It was understandable for me so he talked to me about every three days or so. I thought that he really loved me. He said he would always be there for me, he said he wanted me to go to church with him and that he liked to go to church, he helped boost my self esteem and gave me motivation, and he said that when I finish college he wanted me to marry him and buy him a house.Me and this guy had absolutely the best conversations and he said he would see me again. I was so happy. But recently he hasn't talked to me for 3 weeks and I did ask him for his number before and he said that he would text me it but he never did. He hasn't sent me any messages on yahoo messenger either. I don't know if he's busy, or cheating, or doesn't have any interest in me. But with all that he said I have such a hard time believing that. I am so sad. I have been losing my appetite over this. I just feel like lying in bed all day. Then I rush to check my email or yahoo messenger and still no reply. Right now he still hasn't called me or messaged me. The last time he said good night and said that he loved me was August 8 and now it's the 23 and still no reply from him. I was so mad that I told him in an email messaged that I was tired of his games. Still no reply. The hardest thing anyone can do is break up with you and give you no reason for it. Please tell me what you think is going on here. Thanks. I feel so dead inside.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): You sound like a sweet person, and he sounds like a person conflicted about the possibility of being in a predatory situation. You should NOT date the 34 year old. You should NOT meet people on craigslist. You SHOULD realize that you deserve happiness and find yourself someone else in college (fish in a barrel dude), or several someones (be safe) and move on. You don't need an older man to give you self esteem. Stand the fuck up, realize you're the bomb, and craft some confidence yourself. You can do it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much guys for your answers. The world is a terrible place. The people that you trust the most are the ones that bite you in the back. I'm 19 and I'm young. I'm finding out the true nature of people the hard way each and every day.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): Several possible explanations come to my mind:
1. something bad happened to him (maybe he got in a car wreck or something). Hopefully this is not the case. Is there a way you could find out, if it was?
2. he was actually already attached or even married (given his age) and was cheating on you and now is done with that fantasy. if so, he's a scum and you dont' need someone like this in your life.
3. He was already attached or married, was cheating on you, and his partner found out and made him quit even though he still wants to contact you. If so, he could be a scum or just one very confused person who can't sort out his personal life without messing up other people's. You don't need someone like this in your life.
4. He's not cheating on anyone with you, he's just one of those annoying people who think they can break up with someone by just stopping contact and without a word. These people are cowards and have no manners. You don't need such a person in your life.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (24 August 2011):
 First, I'm sorry that you feel so bad over this man.
Second, it TAKES TIME to get to know another person and to find out whether the two of you are really compatible. Just can't be done in a few weeks. Incidently, it's called "dating" for a good reason, which is: spending time together talking and pursuing activities you both enjoy, finding out what you have and don't have in common, is essentially "trying out" a friendship.
Sometimes it works and goes on to become more; other times it doesn't. Not necessarily anything personal. You and he might both be really nice people with good qualities,and the best of intentions, yet still not have quite what the other is looking for. Maybe not enough in common: attraction, values, goals, etc. could all not exactly "mesh" enough.
Or, it could be that "he" has recently ended a relationship and is not yet ready to take the plunge again. Maybe "you" or "he" don't live close enough geograpically to make getting together and getting acquainted practical. Heck, one of you might be about to take a job overseas. Unfortunately, that's the "luck of the draw."
In your case, it's hard to say what is going on. He might indeed be very busy - but you did send an email and also requested his phone number, and he has not responded nor told you what his number is. Possibly he is already in a relationship and now that his vacation - if in fact he lives some distance away and was vacationing in your area for a while - is over, has gone back to his partner. NOW, please DON'T take that as "gospel"! I only mention it because its not clear from what you told us whether he lives fairly close to you or is at a distance.
Another possibility is that while he was with you, he really meant what he said about wanting you to attend church with him, and that he'd always be there for you, but now that his vacation is over, realizes it was a bit of a pipe dream - "shipboard romance" sort of thing.
I agree he should have told you if he was ending it - but people don't always do that. They might be reluctant to hurt your feelings (which it would) by being so blunt.......
In conclusion, I suggest you give him another couple weeks or so to see if he gets in touch. And/or if you know what church he attends, you might want to consider going to the service one Sunday and see if he's there......be prepared that IF he IS in a relationship - and he may well not be for all we know - and is at church with his partner you might feel rather awkward......still, perhaps it's worth the risk.
I do hope this is of some help to you!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): Your first error was meeting him on CraigsList. Isn't that where the CraigList Killer found his victims? There are so many jerks,liars,users,cheaters,inconsiderate,selfish,heartless,spineless (i can go on and on but you get the picture) people out there. I'm sorry you ran in to one!
Cheer up and regain your dignity...he didn't deserve you!
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