A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, So I'm in a sort of love triangle, at the age of 16. Let's start at well... the start: So there's my friends let's call him Max and a girl let's call her Trudy, and then there's me. Me and Max became good friends and really flirted to the extent of Max having is hand on thigh under the table in physics. I discover that Max likes Trudy. Max asks Trudy out, Trudy says no. So Max and Trudy stop talking, me and Max start talking and flirting more and more. Max tells me he likes me, I ask if he still likes Trudy. He says not even one little bit. So he comes to my house again and again, we do nothing but make out but I do end up covered in love bites, even got them on my thighs. He asks me out on my birthday and I say yes. 3 weeks later I have to go to hospital for 4 weeks and 4 days, I can't contact Max in this time, but my mum calls him and tells him I'm okay but won't be around for a month. When I get out of hospital I was looking forward to getting to see Max again. When I first see Max he doesn't even hug me, when he and my other friend come over, before he leaves I go in to kiss him and he pulled away. It broke my heart. I hadn't been on Facebook since I got out of hospital. I went on it that evening, and saw that Max is relationship status showed he was with Trudy. It broke my heart again. I confronted him, and knew he was going to end it, but he cried and couldn't do it so I finally broke it off, even though I still love him, two days later him and Trudy broke up because they both felt so guilty. Then me and Max went back to being friends... then started flirting... then he came over to my house on the monday before our prom (Proms on the thursday) we went to 3rd base. At prom as soon as I saw him and Trudy I knew the were going out, I asked him he apologised and said yes, then they even kissed in front of me. Now they've been dating we stayed friends. He tells me if he wasn't with Trudy, he'd be with me. He sets the limits and didn't let me flirt. Until, one night he we were texting late (he admitted he texts me more than he texts Trudy) He tells me he is falling asleep and I need to keep him up. I said there is only one way to keep him up and it crossed his line. He tells me to do it. I refuse, but he keeps asking, so I talk really dirty to him. Now we both talk a lot about sex and things we'd do and us together when we're older. When we've hung out alone together he admitted to checking out my ass. Also I was standing on a wall and he'd help me on and off it numerous times, later I asked if he did that to be nice or 'cause he wanted to touch my waist and hips, he said it's a bit of both. I sent him a dirty text and he admitted it made him hard. I've written him a letter asking what he really wants and he said to work on he's and Trudy's relationship. I'm so confused. How can I get him back or should I even want him back? Sorry this is so long, but help would be amazing.
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female
reader, AustralianGold +, writes (24 August 2011):
hey! first of all,"max" sounds like a complete player. you're not going to like hearing this but, it sounds like he's saw you as a rebound due to getting rejected from "trudy". He obviously thinks your attractive and has managed to worm his way in and make you feel the same. And you going into hospital and him being alone for a month has put him to the test on what he really wants: 1. it being someone to attend to his needs of having someone to kiss, almost like " a bit on the side" or 2. he really does want something with you. But for the fact hed started a relationship with "trudy" behind your back while your in hospital is horrible and very disrespectful towards you and your family.then, to break up with trudy again and come running back to you suggests he can't decide on what he wants, cleary he feels you are better than "trudy" but the minute your not available whenever he feels like it he thinks its ok, and he'll just try it with someone else. For example, dirty texts when he has a girlfriend? thats not right. you shouldnt get involved with someone like that as if you ended up in a relationship with him, he;d more than likely do the same to you with another girl. "trudy" is also extremely stupid for taking him back after he dumped her to come and see you again. He has clearly been playing you and "trudy" against each other.If i was you, i'd stop talking to him completly, he obviously can't just stay friends with you because he enjoys the attention you give him whenever he likes. He knows he has this hold over you which he'll see as an advantage. you and "trudy" are better of without him. He sounds like a complete user. I know its hard but dont waste your time on someone whos only in it for the thrill of having you there for his sexual ammusment. This isn't a good look for you, as it could give you a bad reputation as alot of people see it as being wrong when your not actually in a relationship with someone, not to mention the fact he has a girlfriend and you still continue to do these things. If "trudy" found it this could cause an argument and also affect what people think of you as a person. hope i helped!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): No you shouldn't want him back and you should stop with the sex talk and texts. This is how he sees you, as an object, he wants you sex wise but not relationship wise.No harm in being friends butLeave him to the other girl and to mature. Get yourself some self respect and a boy who wants to date not just come over to your place and cover you in love bites.You deserve better
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