A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This isn't a relationship q, but about friendship and I would really appreciate the input. I have been best frinds with a girl since I was 12, and we are now both 26. She used to be quiet and shy, but the past couple of years she has been coming out of her shell, and makings lots of new friends. However, this has been to the detriment of our friendship, as she keeps blowing me off for her new friends. I have tried to see her several times now over the past year, but she cancels a lot, but to make matters worse she will text me and say she is out with so and so, and doing this and that with other people. She has also started to be a bit mean to me, I have an incurable disease and she has been making comments saying how that makes me worthless. What should I do?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 August 2012):
 you guys have outgrown each other... time to let it go..
here is my story about this:
I had a friend at age 14 till I was about 29 we were very very very close friends.
I had kids, she never did... we lost contact... recently (we are in our 50s now) we found each other again... still not as much in common as when we were teens but my kids are grown and we manage to have dinner together every few weeks...
maybe it's just time to slowly let it fade away and later on try to keep in touch...
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (23 August 2012):
 Sometimes in life, you have to put past relationships behind. That goes for most everything.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 August 2012):
 I have to agree with BondGirl here.
She has been blowing you off and she is now being somewhat of a bully towards you, that is NOT what friends do.
So I would let her know that you are available, but I would also advice you to seek out your own friends, this one.. is pulling away from you and not being a good friend.
And I think you need to be frank with her, if she says something hurtful, I think you should tell her JUST that.
As for her texting you telling you all the FUN she is doing, ignore it. Kill her with kindness.
And I'm sorry.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (23 August 2012):
 This happens a lot when people get out of school and start pursuing new interests and friendships. It probably has very little to do with you and more the fact she has outgrown the friendship. This should not offend you, it is something that happens sometimes when people have been friends since they were very young and then grow apart due to interests or distance. She could do without the mean comments though.
It's obvious your friend means a lot to you, but I would distance myself from her. Do things with other friends if you can and find some new interests. Unfortunatelly this sometimes happens with age and time even though you may love your friend. People just grow apart. It becomes even harder sometimes to maintain friendships when people start having families.
I would let your friend know that you would still like to see her if/when she has time. Maybe do something the two of you enjoy doing together, if she is willing. If she does not contact you, then you know that perhaps the friendship has run its course.
This happened to me when I was going through college. My best friend and I just seemed to butt heads all the time. She finally moved away. We still keep in touch, but due to us both having jobs and her having a family, our relationship has changed. We do not see one another or contact one another much, but we do stay in touch. I have different friends now that I enjoy and I am not bitter towards her. It is just something in life that happens.
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