I need to feel wanted again!

A female age 30-35, *iara writes:

Well, where do i start? My boyfriend and i are having a bit of troublein the bedroom department. When we first met we would have sex up to 5 times a day, but because we lived apart while he was in uni we would only see eachother for a couple of weeks every month or two. We both decided we were ready to start a family and I got pregnant pretty fast, but this didnt affect our sex life at all. We moved in together and everything was great, but about 7 months after the birth of our daughter i fell pregnant again, and this really affected my libido. I felt unattractive and fat eventl though i only put on a few pounds, and I'm relatively slender with curves in the right places. The main cause though was, sex just hurt. It never dropped to under once a week however, and my partner still asked everyday! I felt awful for saying i couldn't but i still did my best to please him in "other ways." Lets just say my bum got a lot of attention! A month after our second daughter was born he went abroad to work for a few months, and ever since he got back his intrest in sex is non-existant. I've tried everything to get him in the mood, and when i finally manage to all he is intrested in is a quickie once a fortnight. I found out he watched a lot of porn while he was away, and some of that seems to have followed him home, although he would deny it. When we met i asked if he would stop watching porn, as he admitted he was addicted before we met. I explained my reasons for why porn upsets me so much and he promised to never watch it again. It may be wishful thinking to assume but as far as i am aware, he did infact cease watching porn entirely until he went away, and i have only found evidence of him watching it twice since he has been home, once on his phone in his files while i was looking at pictures of our daughters, the second on his laptpp history while i looked up a recipie (we share the laptop but have seperate computers). Could he be watching porn behind my back and thus damaging our sex life, or could i be reading too much into it? Has he lost intrest in me? He was never a romantic person but lately the lack of sexual contact has made him feel so distant. All he wants to do is play games on his computer. He still kisses and cuddles me occasionally, and i know we both love eachother, but it is starting to feel more like a house share than a healthy loving relationship. I need to feel wanted again!

View related questions: in the mood, libido, moved in, porn, sex life

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A female reader, Fiara  +, writes (23 August 2012):

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A female reader, Fiara  +, writes (23 August 2012):

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