A
female
age
41-50,
*attGirl
writes:My bfriend and I have only been together a few months. The first two months were very serious (talks of marriage) but now I have just about had enough. He got really drunk one night and sent me abusive text messages because I was at work and couldn't talk to him. He's suffered from depression in the past and every now and then I see that coming through. He seems to be obsessed with me and I am feeling very smothered. We don't live in the same town and only see each every few weeks. He will text me or email me 100s of times a day, I have told him to stop which seems to have worked a little bit. I don't know what to do to get out of this relationship, it just seems that I'm his only reason for living. I really have tried to talk to him and forgive him every time he screws up but I just can't do that any more.
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at work, drunk, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2009): Hi - let him know its 100 percent over. Be strong and stop responding to his calls/text etc, and don't give in to his emotional blackmail rubbish or demands, hopefully he get the message, if that fails change your phone number.Good Luck
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 May 2009):
Woo! Good for you. I hope he gets the help he needs for his own sake, and the sake of the next girl he starts being a bad boyfriend to.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, CattGirl +, writes (5 May 2009):
CattGirl is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for all your help. I am so happy to say now that I am single! Emails, texts and calls all been blocked. Again thanks so much xoxo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2009): I agree with Emilysanswers and wonderingcat that you absolutely cannot let him drag you down like this! Tell him (but only ONCE, mind) that his obssessive behavior is unhealthy for him, and that you cannot help him. He needs to get professional help, such as a therapist, so that he can overcome this problem.
Then block any texts or phone calls from him! Your email and phone providers will know how to do that. Don't see him again, either!
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (18 March 2009):
 This kind of relationship will take a toll on your wellbeing. Emily is correct, it sounds like b/f needs professional help.
You need to tell him that you feel his OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) is currently overshadowing your relationship, and that you don't know whether you are "talking" to him as a person or to the "demon" which controls his OCD. A professional therapist would be able to guide him in the right direction on how he can manage his OCD and thus lead a normal life.
As for his email and text messages, you can set your emailto block his messages. You can do this both by contacting your ISP as well as setting it up yourself at your end (in the computer). You can also do the same with his text messages. Some mobile phone can select numbers to block, or you can call your provider to block certain numbers.
Good luck!
Cat
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 March 2009):
You can't stay with someone just because they are mentally ill.
Tell him that he is pushing you away and you don't want to be with him till he gets some help.
The fact he's being abusive shows me he is not in control and therefore he is just not in a position to have a girlfriend. It's too much for him to handle.
Tell him to get a job and some friends and see a doctor.
If he does start getting help and trying to get better then that's great, stay his friend and hopefully when he's better then you two can give things another go.
But if he won't sort himself out then you can't get dragged down with him. You aren't helping him by being there for him to obsess over.
Tell him that he needs help for his depression but that you can't be with him until he does and then cut contact.
Good Luck!! xx
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