A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[ModNote:OPs own title] Well, I met a guy through eHarmony on July 30th and, even though he asked me to enter a relationship that night, things just did not work out. We never fought or anything but he just sent me a text last night saying, "I did get your text. I don't think I'm ready for a relationship right now. I'm sorry about this whole thing."Okie dokie then. Onward and upward lol.So, yeah, about two weeks ago one of my friends asked me out, and I had to kindly tell him that I was in a relationship. The only other time it has come up was when I was in his dorm the other day and somehow or another he asked me who I was seeing. I've got an fwb here in town so I'm not exactly worried about getting laid and moving on, lol. The guy is really cool (we work together) and I knew he'd be there if my relationship ended...which it did. Nevertheless, when my friend asked me out I realized I was more interested in him than my bf, but I couldn't say yes--now that I was in a relationship with the guy I couldn't play games. I know what being on the receiving end of that is like. Anyway, now I'm single and while I'm in no rush to get into a relationship again (cheers to FWBs! lol), I want him to know that I'm interested. But I have no experience with the whole rebound thing, and I don't want to screw this up or come off as desperate with my friend. So what should I do? Just wait it out and see if he brings up our breakup (since, of course, he's on fb and he'll most likely notice the changed relationship status), and see how he acts or see if he gets the courage to ask me out again? Since we text daily, should I maybe be a little flirty with something like, "hey cutie, what's up?"or should I seriously erase this guy from my radar since, while I don't know much about the whole rebound trap as I mentioned, I've heard that any relationships that end and start like less than 6 weeks apart are a recipe for disaster?Thoughts?
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male
reader, rcn +, writes (22 December 2010):
 This depends on how close you were with your e harmony connection. Since he asked you out, and you turned him down, how about you ask him out. Nothing big, coffee or whatever, or let him know that you are interested. You said you two text daily, so it's not like approaching someone you don't really know. I think it'd be okay, without considering it being a rebound (unless you're really broken up over the breakup) to pursue dating him now. Being a rebound is only if your new relationship begins for you to cope with the breakup. In a way, using the relationship like some use alcohol or the gal. of ice cream. That would be entering into the relationship under false pretenses, and those end because there is still deep emotional attachments to the ex.
I hope this helps. Take care.
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