A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here is the issue. I had a girlfriend for 2 years and we broke up on Thanksgiving. I was depressed for awhile because the mistakes I made and wish I could take back. She made mistakes too and we ended on pretty bad terms. Well its February now and I've been dating this new girl for a month(to the day actually). My new girlfriend is great we have a lot in common and it would be 100% compatibility match on EHarmony because we enjoy many of the same things.. In fact its scary the amount we have in common I think we could be a very compatible match even more so then my ex of 2 years. Here's the real issue though.. I can't get over my ex.. I mean I still love her and feel almost like I lost the person I'm really meant to be with and it scares me. I was close to proposing, and I'm just a wreck. I know I probably rushed into this relationship with the new girl, and I think I did it to try and get over my ex but it didn't help. Now I care about this new girl and want it to work out, but I also have a lot of feelings for my ex... I don't know what to do? My ex and I aren't on speaking terms, and I doubt she'd care anyways because she has a new man. I mean it's so bad that when my new girlfriend and I tried to have sex I couldn't stay aroused and I've never had this issue.. I think it was because it didn't feel right after being with one girl for 2 years, It just didn't feel the same being with another girl. I just need some advice because to be honest I'm completely lost..
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female
reader, Treadlightly +, writes (2 February 2013):
Sounds like your in a bit of a situation. I've been on the other end of the stick being with a man who it seemed want over his ex. It sucks to be waiting on someone to see what a great person they have in front of them. Do her a favor. If your not going to give her a fair chance then you need to end things. Or at least be honest with her. Tell her it's hard to be with someone and open up because you were with someone for 2 years. I'm still dating this guy and things are great because he was honest about it. She may be skeptical but if she likes you she will stick around.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (1 February 2013):
You certainly rushed into things. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
At the very least give it time. One month with someone can't compete with two years AND having your heart broken by someone else.
Keep in mind that having your heart broken can play tricks with your mind. It can make you obsess over someone that you might have got over already if it weren't for the psychology behind it.
Maybe you need to call your ex and simply tell her that you felt like you needed to tell her that you're sorry for the mistakes you made and you would take them back if you could. Tell her that you hope things are going well and that she has a great life.
It might give you some closure and help you move on with things. Don't do anything that would be embarrassing just keep it simple and somewhat dry.
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