A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend (21) has told me he has had 3 past girlfriends (N, G, M) and that he's had sex with only 2 of them and he doesnt even remember who he fucked G or M. Those supposedly are the only girls he has had sex with and also the first girl he lost his virginity to (an asian girl). He says he has never had fucked a girl who wasnt his girlfriend because for him thats gross, to sleep around.Then I found this message from a girl who was telling him that they cant be in a relationship anymore because she got really scared from thinking shes pregnant and that shes now grounded and that she wont be able to travel to see him anymore. That was when he wasnt with me. She was 17, as me. Now im the one whos pregnant at 17.The thing is, why didn't he even tell me about this girl!? He tells me everything, supposedly. WHY in the world would he keep this part of the story secret? I mean, she was telling him she didnt get her period and it hurts me cause I'm pregnant with his baby and keep thinking about that over and over what could have been. Then when it ended (she wasnt pregnant) He kept contact with her, sending her little comments every month, telling her to please come visit him and that he misses her. HE STILL SENT HER SAD FACES WHEN HE WAS ALREADY DATING ME!She lives far away in another state I dont even know how they were in a relationship when i belive he hasnt even travelled over there in his life. Maybe shes the one that comes to see him. I dont find messages anymore because oviously I have his password and he would be that stupid to expose that to me. Maybe they still see eachother when she comes and thats why he didnt tell me about this. Could it be? What do you think?When I randomly asked why does he have this girl on facebook and who she is, he said shes a friend of his from that state and told me not to erase her please, and changed the subject.They keep on touch! does he love her or something?Also, when he talks about his ex girlfriend G he calls her the southern girl and the southern girl is the one that sent him the message!!!!! Her name is almost the same as the other girl.But the one that was with him is a junkie now and she's a devil worshipper and she cant be the same girl. Too much confusion for me, please help me! What do I do!!?
View related questions:
ex girlfriend, facebook, his ex, period, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2012): Ok. I'm the girl that posted this.
First of all, thank you all for your advice. I really need it.
I'm sorry for not explaining myself correctly, I was just desperate and trying to resume the whole story with all my pregnancy hormones going all over the place.
I found out I was pregnant BEFORE finding the messages.
How did I get pregnant? Well, he proposed to me to get married in the future. He supposedly had fertility problems because of a testicle problem and He was always obsessed about having a baby with me, I know, inmature enough of his, but come on, I'm a teenager, to me it was nice to hear and of course, I knew that WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN and also pointed that out to him. Then one day, I was stupid enough to acceed to have unprotected sex using the pulling out method. He managed to cum inside of me without me noticing, I SWEAR. He swore he hadn't done it and finally when it was too late to do anything about it, he confessed. That was 4 days before my fertile stage of the month. Got pregnant and he confessed what he had done. SELFISH, I know.
Before getting pregnant I had serious issues with his ex girlfriend because she suddenly came back from the country she was supposedly living in and started trying to restablish their relationship while he was with me. But that was when we were already commited together. That's the part when everything got fucked up. Now his ex was around again and their relationship had ended with her going away. I believe he will never tell me the real reason why it all ended. Because he's a liar. He said they were together for two years, then apart for 2 years, AND she's my age. She lost her virginity to him at 12! and stuff. But also did the girl from the message who said she didn't get her period. Now I've found out they both lost their virginities to him around the same time. HE'S A PLAYER, there's no need the reasure that. And he was also in a relationship with the two of them at the same time. So, he IS unfaithful and will be forever.
(Also about the devil worshipper, her actual religion was satanism or whatever it is called but that's what she became AFTER him)
Why did I let him into my life? I can tell you I've never felt something so special, so strong, so amazing. He was my best friend and my boyfriend and we really enjoyed our love life and explored our sex life and I tried to forget all about his past because he had been a TEENAGER and done stuff just like I did. I'm not a saint. But he fucked up. Because apart from the past, he didn't respect what WE had in the very beginning. Would you ever forgive what he's done? I don't have any proof about him being unfaithful to me but after even swearing to the Holy Bible, he finally accepted to have tried to contact her being with me. But because I had the proof (a message), which he denied for a long time. Without any proof, will I ever get his confession about being unfaithful? NO. Was he unfaithful? Probably. HOW SEVERE WAS THE CRIME? I WILL NEVER KNOWWWWW a kiss , a fuck, making love? one, two, ten times?
Just wanted to let you know I've cut off the relationship with him. Even though it hurts me because I love him, I love myself and my baby more than this and I'm going to parent that baby and form him to become a crystal clear person and never repeat what he's father did to me. Even though psychologists say that having separate parents is the number one ingredient in forming a future unfaithful person...
A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (27 July 2012):
 In your position I would first and most importantly: break things off with him. He obviously cannot be trusted and has lied to you about that girl, their relationship and who has slept with.
Now, I will not condemn you for unprotected sex. It was a very bad decision, but I understand that sometimes emotions get the better of you. You need to get tested. If he has had unprotected sex with those other girls then he could have caught something and passed it onto you. This is why you use a condom!
And the baby, well, you are only seventeen so definitely not fit to be a single parent, which inevitably would be the case considering not only your age but how flaky this guy is. You have three choices: parent the child anyway, abort the child (controversial, but still an option), or put the baby up for adoption. The third option seems to be the smartest in my opinion. It takes a lot of courage to let a baby go, but you could make some infertile couple so happy with your baby and give it a better home than one with a lying father and a young mother.
Your biggest worry should be your pregnancy. He is merely a detail and you need to sort out what you are going to do in that area. You need to tell him what you know about him and tell him you will not put up with being lied to. You and that baby deserve much better.
I truly wish you the best of luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2012): Seriously girls should think before they sleep with a guy at such a young age,most guys are not ready to grow up and be responsible when it comes to being a dad (at that age 17) feel sorry for you,your life's basically gone! Why not finish school and find a decent guy and not get pregnant so quickly. Don't get girls these days.
...............................
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (27 July 2012):
 "Sounds" to me as if you're hanging with an older guy who seems to take sex as some sort of sport, much like golf or tennis..... and he doesn't have the honor and wherewithal to be a man about it....
YOU've delineated all the things you like about him... and noted that you're pregnant by him.... and have issued him a "pass" for all the jerky behaviour he's exhibited in the past.... Can you blame the guy for being happy with "where he is".... since he has an unfortunate "girlfriend" (you!) who is giving him just what he wants... AND he has no other reason to act like an adult man.....
Good luck....
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 July 2012):
 Okay well to begin with I am not sure why he never told you about this girl when he told you about the others, this does send alarm bells ringing. My guess is that because he was still in contact with her and sending her messages that he just did not want to let you know he had been dating her. He has lied to you and told you she is just a friend, which worries me more.
It makes me sad to think that you have fallen pregnant at such a young age and this man might not be up to the responsibility of being a father. You found these messages from this girl afraid that she might be pregnant before you where dating, what makes me wonder is why did you have sex with him unprotected? Not only to prevent pregnancy but also to ensure that you stay clear from STI's because it is obvious he never used protection with this other girl.
I think it is time to come clean to him. Tell him everything you have saw, tell him how much you are worried and ask him why he has hid it from you, tell him that you want the relationship to be over if he is meeting up with other girls. Ask him what it is he wants. You both need to talk about this or else you will just drive yourself crazy with suspicion and that is not good for the baby. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (27 July 2012):
 Things I'm thinking while reading your post:
#1-Why did she have sex with someone who had so many previous sexual partners and why did she sleep with this guy that obviously cannot be trusted?
#2-Why did she have sex with this guy she cannot trust without any protection?
#3-Why would she have sex with a guy who is probably his same age, who she can't trust, who has slept with multiple girls, and not expect that he is talking to other girls on Facebook?
#4-Now you have a baby on the way and do you really expect this player to stay with you?
#5-I say what you do is get help raising the baby from your family and friends, and dump this guy. He's probably not going to stay with you anyway because he sounds like he likes to be able to do whatever he wants without taking responsibility.
...............................
|
