A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So today was my first day of University and second night staying in student accommodation. I've had a really tough year and finally got out of my depression in time for Uni but now I feel like I am slowly sinking back there. I have never felt so alone.I honestly have tried to make an effort with people making conversations etc and no one seems to want to know...All my old friends who I text don't really want to know either as they know I have mvoed away and theres nothing much to talk about. I do not know anyone at this new university and I though that would be a good thing a new clean start and I was looking forward to it but everything has went to opposite way.I'm so far from home that I can not visit on weekends etc and I only have 3 weeks at christmas and 3 weeks at easter to see my family who I have never been apart from. I know there is not much I can do but suck it up at least until Christmas, so I can make a better decision on how I feel about everything But I wanted to know if you aunts and uncles had any experiences on the matter and tips onto how to get through it? I just find everything so awkward. I am really not happy. :(
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female
reader, lmao1989 +, writes (18 September 2012):
 I was exactly like you i stayed in student accommodation i did make a few friends and then in the night all the floors mingled and we all had drinks but i got really good friends with girls on a different floor to myself a good ol drink helps you talk to people it gave me more chance too i am quite a shy person but i can be a very good conversationalist and i made quite a few friends i enjoyed it there and as for lectures i got terrified thinking i'd not make new friends but do you know what i've got 4 fab friends we all get on in class anyways now but at first we were all a bit people are new and clicky groups but we all chat now we've all grown to know each other but i have 4 great Uni friends and i'm glad i went to uni.I can become very paranoid as well when meeting new people always questioning 'Do they like me?, Do they think i'm fat?' all sorts but i got over that and i really enjoyed it.I'm still at Uni now i'm in my final year and i'm so glad i done it because i've made great friends whom i keep in contact with.I still see my home friends as well but it's nice to have those other people you can see and do other stuff with.Hope this helps if you want any more help or want to talk about something else please don't hesitate to message me :) I'd be happy to help.
A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (18 September 2012):
 Your first week at uni will be tough, but everyone is in the same boat as you. When I went to uni I hated my first few days there, I was crying all the time because I was lonely and didnt click with anyone instantly in my halls of residence.
But after a few days I got talking to more people, I met a girl on my course who I got on with and eventually I grew to love uni, having loads of fun. You have only had 2 nights there so it is very early days, and it will change soon I promise.
Put yourself out of your comfort zone as much as possible, try not to stay in your room and talk to ANYONE! Your halls should have a common room, or at least a communal kitchen/living room type area - sit yourself down in there and talk to everyone that comes in. Male or female, doesnt matter. Ask them where they have come from, what they are studying, how they are finding uni so far, if there are any cool bars they have found nearby....just keep on talking!
When your course starts, or if you have an induction day, sit next to someone (dont sit yourself miles away from everyone else) and talk to them. You will have something in common because you are doing the same course, so at the very least you can talk about that. The girl I made friends with on my course had moved miles away from her home and didnt know anyone either, we were on our induction day for our course, sat next to each other in a queue. We noticed loads of the girls all seemed to know each other, so we just laughed and said 'how have all these people made friends so quickly, I dont know anyone!' and we got chatting from there. We stayed friends for the next 3 years and that was that.
But your halls are your best option for making friends, these will probably be the people you live with for the next 3 years so just go and talk to them all. Even if they are in a group, just go over and say 'would you mind if I hang out with you, I've not met many people yet' - they wont say no! Just remember that everyone is in the same boat as you, they have all moved away from home and dont know anyone either.
Tag along with people whenever you can, if they are going to the pub go with them, if they are going to the shops go with them....eventually if you keep tagging along you will get to know them and be part of the group. If you isolate yourself, staying in your room and not talking to anyone you will only get more and more lonely.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (18 September 2012):
 "... no one seems to want to know ..." WHAT exactly? Take a look at what you are presenting to these new potential friends. Nobody really likes to be around someone whose conversation is loaded with negativity. If you strive, when in a conversation with someone you do not know well, always to be the kind of positive person that you yourself would like to encounter, it seems quite likely that more people would want to engage you in conversation. It is usually possible at university to find groups of people you can associate with without too much hassle. Get involved. Just listen to the way other people interact, and analyze what you found positive in their behaviors. Chime in a little when your opinion of point of view might make a positive contribution to the flow of conversation.
You are now, as you've no doubt been told, part of a community of scholars; however, it is up to YOU to build your own niche within that community. It's not terribly difficult if you think things over and approach conversations in a positive frame of mind.
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