A
female
age
30-35,
*mjustplainme19
writes:Okay, so.. I have been living with my boyfriend for about 8 months. I am currently 7 months pregnant (obviously, with his child.) and I'm having major issues with him. I do everything I can to make him happy, but it seems like it is never enough. He never seems to appreciate anything I do and will pick on me if I don't do something to his standards, but he won't help me do it! Tonight, he actually made me walk the 8 blocks to the gas station in the dark by myself to go get him cigarettes because he was mad that I didn't get them for him earlier today! Then, when I got them, he basically didn't care and just rolled over and went to sleep. Am I that bad of a person that cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry, helping with his legal problems, helping him get his license back, and carrying his child is not good enough? What am I supposed to do?! I can't kick him out because I need him to help with the rent and bills, and I don't want to kick him out anyways, because I love him.. I just need some suggestions on what I can do better, or what I can say to him to make this more tolerable.. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 October 2009):
Step back away from him and stop running around trying to make him happy. Men are good at taking advantage of things. It's great that you're at college trying to make your life better, so don't quit that. You can't make your boyfriend happy, he has to do that himself. Also, you could even try talking and saying that you need more help. If nothing comes of it, continue being a great mother, continue with your college work and then get a job. Then consider whether you want this relationship. for now, focus on yourself and youd children.
A
female
reader, imjustplainme19 +, writes (22 October 2009):
imjustplainme19 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo askoldersister-
I am a good mother thank you. I have two year old daughter who has somehow managed to survive me, and loves her mommy very much. The problem with me walking in the dark wasn't so much a risk to my health or the baby's (I live in a really tiny town in Indiana), but I thought it was just mean. And my parents haven't been there for me since I was a kid, I was in foster care for years. I don't have anywhere else to go, and I AM in college. I have 14 months left on an Associate's in Nursing..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2009): Your boyfriend is a total loser.No one that cares about you would ask you to walk alone at night to get him cigarettes.No one would treat the mother of his child this way.The guy is a total jerk, he is abusive, google abusive realtionships and educate yourself on the signs, you are in one of those.I agree ditch the loser and move in with your parents if you can't afford the bills. They have you and your unborn child's best interests at heart not this guy.Take him to court for child support and move on with your life. Try to finish your education or go to trade school and learn to be self sufficient and self supporting.You think you love this guy? Why? How can you love someon who has so little respect for you and who is so self centered and self absorbed and abusive? Those are the questions you should be asking yourself, not what you can do to change him. NOTHING you do will fix this. He is what he is, a selfish, moronic abusive loser.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 "Tonight, he actually made me walk the 8 blocks to the gas station in the dark by myself to go get him cigarettes because he was mad that I didn't get them for him earlier today!" - THAT right there would have made me show him the door...no questions about it. What kind of a man is this? And what kind of a woman are you to put up with this crap? Sure, relationships are about compromise and helping each other out but this is unnacceptable. If you can support yourself without him, and if I was you I would find a way, you need to kick this bum out! As sunnycomet said, there is no respect here. You don't need a man to support you, you should be with a man who enriches your life, not one who devalues it. I seriously wish that you would see this for what it is and get out before it gets worse. You ask if you're a bad person. It makes me think that you really have a warped view about all this. It's easy for any of us on here to see that he's the bad person, not you.You love him? What do you love? Think about it. You're 7 months pregnant and he makes you walk 8 blocks to get him smokes? Seriously!You need to start valuing yourself more, realize that you are worth much more than this and that no man, or woman, should treat you like this. Get some self-esteem back and kick this guy out. He will not make you happy.
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A
female
reader, sunnycomet  +, writes (22 October 2009):
 He has zero respect for you and in a relationship you need respect. Talk to him about it and see if that works. If it doesn't then stop trying to please him until he respects you.Good Luck!
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