A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Nothing I do is ever good enough for my parents. Nothing I have ever done has gotten any sort of approval. Everything I do could always be improved, according to them. I get A's and all they have to say is, 'You didn't get an A*, it's not good enough'. Most nights they refuse to let me eat dinner, or let me eat dinner with them, because I 'don't deserve to'. I'm not allowed new clothes, I've had the same clothes for three years, and I'm still a growing teenager, so they're ratty and way to small, yet they refuse to get me any more. I'm not allowed a phone, or a laptop, I'm typing this up from the library for god's sake. I'm in therapy for cripplingly low self esteem, admitted by my school, because I kept breaking down and at one point let it slip to my teacher that I didn't plan on being around for Summer. I've always wondered why I'm so socially inept, and why I hate myself so much, but then I realised, it's my family. I just want to know why they feel the need to put me down constantly, and blame everything on me. They treat my brother like a king, when he's never had a job in his life and he's twenty, he still lives at home, all he does is wake up at 4pm every day, go on his xbox, eat, and go to bed at 7am. I go to school, I have a job, I come home and I revise and do my homework. I try really hard, but it's never good enough. My brother always gets treated better than me. In my parents eyes he is better than me. And I just want to know why I've been rejected by my own family? Is it because I'm in therapy? Is it because I'm not 'normal'? I've brought this up with them in the past, and told them exactly how they make me feel, and didn't come home or contact them at all for four days, I stayed at my friend's house. They found out where I was staying, come and picked me up, shouted at me, called me a 'selfish, self-centred, manipulative b***h' and then took away all my books and the light in my room for three days. Ever since then they act like it never happened, and everything's back to normal. Why don't they care? What's wrong with me? What did I do?
View related questions:
lives at home, my teacher, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ima FreAk! +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Hiyaaaaa,Totally agree with Sincerely Yours mannn!Family is the worse when it comes to problem it's like always on the top of the list because its blood relation and you can't choose your family and there is always this unfairness and favoritism.Honestly work hard HARD HARD HARD HARD like really hard but obviously don't work till the overload! Just block out anything negative in your life particularly about parents.What I like to do is sometimes when someone says something negative about you just prove them wrong! And most importantly do it for yourself because negative comments can get to you that you will start to believe it when it's clearly not true but when you accomplished something successful and your doing it for yourself it's a great feeling!Remember wake up in the morning with determination if your going to bed with satisfaction and after something bad something good will come outta it! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!! Stand strong and prove people WRONG!Hope my advice helps!Good luck!Lots of love,Ima FreAk!x
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with you. Of course, it's going to be hard for us to know because we don't know every detail behind everyone's point of of view, but what it looks like, is that your parents have very personal issues that cause them to act in a very inappropriate way. They are dealing with things that have nothing to do with you and most certainly aren't your fault, and they are acting badly.
The only thing YOU need to do is start living for yourself. So you can't gain the approval of your parents.... (and by the way, I don't think you should stress over that because apparently, approval by your parents means staying up all night, playing videos games, and eating), so live your life for YOURSELF. If you want to do good in school, then do it for you. If you want to have a job and make money and be independent, then do it for you. You don't have to live for them. Live for your future and your own happiness, and do your best to be a good person and make others happy.. but don't live out every day thinking you have to please them. Some people just can't be pleased.
Your parents may be unreasonable sometimes, but I guarantee that when people ask them about their kids, their raving about how good you're doing in school and how you're working at the same time, etc., and have nothing to say about your brother. They just do it when you're not looking, because for whatever reason, they don't want you to know.
so just be strong, be independent, and be mature...
ps, do you make good money from your job? You should buy some clothes...
~SY
...............................
|
