A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I am a bully.I don't have a Facebook so I don't bully others online. I insult others in my head but I dont say it out loud all the time. I feel like I do it because I have no confidence and need to make myself feel better. I lie to others to get people to feel bad for me and say things to make myself feel cool. I always feel like I am mean to others and I act different around certain people. I always try to get others to feel bad and sympathy for me. I don't really think about what I say before I say it. I feel horrible in school and I always feel like I hate everyone and everything. Does anyone know what could be wrong with me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2011): I think you do it because deep down inside you feel ashamed about something with yourself, you haven't learned to accept yourself as you are. because of this you're afraid to make "normal" connections with people, the kind where you feel free to be who you are. you're afraid they will reject you. And yet, being human we all have instinctive needs to connect socially with other people, humans are a social species and you have that need to. But this is in direct conflict with your fear of getting rejected. So you say stuff to make people feel bad and sympathy for you because it's the only way to fulfill those two opposing inner drives at the same time (to make connection with other people, and protecting yourself from showing your real self to them in case they reject you or make you feel bad).when you hate everyone and everything, it's because something about yourself or your own life is making you very unhappy. This negativity clouds the way you see the world and prevents you from finding joy in anything. You feel bad about yourself and therefore you hate everyone else because you assume they see you the way you see yourself. or that it's not fair that they have it easy and are so happy all the time.it may not be anything that's your fault. If your parents or teachers have told you that you're stupid or other negative things, or if you have been bullied or made fun of before and made to feel ashamed or inadequate, that's not your fault it is the fault of the other person. but the horrible experience may have stuck with you and affected the way you think about yourself. try to talk with a caring adult about this, such as a teacher you trust, or a school counselor. Some times talking to someone who's caring and non-judgmental will make you feel better and can help you to figure out what to do to feel better in the long run.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (18 October 2011):
 It sounds like you just want attention from these people and this is the easiest way for you to get it. Some people are naturally more hateful towards others. Even I have a tendency to be at times. You have to remind yourself that that is not how you would like to treated and that you shouldn't treat others like that. It is fine to think things in your head from time to time. We all have the right to do that but just make a conscience effort to be nice to people and you would be surprised how their attitudes will change towards you.
For the most part it is easy to be angry but better to be happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): i dont think your a bully your just down, has anything sad affectected to make u act like that?? if you need to talk to them and say why ur bein like that then say. talking to people always helps;)xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2011): It could be you're just wanting the attention of others....which is innocent. However, lying about or exaggerating problems is not innocent. It's good you know yourself well enough to notice these traits of yours what's more remarkable is you seeking help on the matter. It may be u have low self esteem and the only things that build u up are support or pity from others. It's not bullying to mentally disagree with someone. However, it is bullying when u verbally insult someone with intent to crush their self esteem. As long as u don't infringe on the rights of others its okay....Also its common for young females to lie and fit in or if they can't fit in make something up for someone to have pity. Please please please stop this. People notice you already. But if u keep this up people will notice you're a liar and talk about u make fun of u. Don't be afraid to talk with the school counselor about this. This behavior of urs can become habit forming and follow u to college. There was this orphan girl in my high school on the basketball team with me....and she had those same behaviors. She really wanted to be noticed so she talked and joked about others a lot. She would initiate rumors and say she heard...no one liked her....except me bc I'm forgiving....but chic had not one friend. People began to notice her lies. They called her crazy. I felt bad for her....bc all she wanted was attention.My point is......practice on becoming a greater person always even when u have attained greatness. You're loved. Someone's thinking about u. Someone's missing u. You already have an audience who stand at your attention.
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