A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I've been in a relationship with my bf now for about 5 years. We both really love each other and he is a great guy. However, lately I've been feelin like he's not very good-looking. My bf is about 5'7 and very skinny. Also he's only 25 and he has a receding hairline and I really hate his hair...I know this is all really shallow, but I wish he would work out more and do something with his hair. But I feel horrible about feeling this way. I know I'm an attractive girl and even though no one has really said anything directly to me, I get the feeling that my friends think I should be with someone better looking, and I can't help but feel like that has affected my attraction to him. I really hate feeling this way, and I've tried talking to him about it...but nothing ever changes...I don't know what to do and I'm really confused because it's making me doubt whether I should stay with him or not, because it seems unfair to stay with a man when I'm not that attracted to him. The only thing is that I feel attracted to him as long as he wears his baseball hat, because he is a good looking guy,it's just his receding hair. Help! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (27 August 2008):
 "I get the feeling that my friends think I should be with someone better looking, and I can't help but feel like that has affected my attraction to him."
What your friends may think doesn't matter, and at any rate you're projecting your thoughts on them. They are simply reflecting your non-verbal cues about your feelings on the matter.
It sounds like you don't have children with this guy. If you think you deserve better and have given him a chance then dump this guy so you can get back in the game. Life is too short to wait for someone else to change. Good luck and take care.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 August 2008):
It may be a bit shallow but it's just a sad fact of life that you HAVE to be attracted to the guy you are going out with.
Why don't you tell him you are losing feeling for him because there is "no chemistry." He'll ask you to explain and you can tell him that you feel like you are making effort to look good and he isn't and the spark is gone.
If he does lose weight then great and encourage him to get a swept forward hairstyle. I'm sure he can find a style with gel that covers his receeding hairline.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (27 August 2008):
 You have to tell him straight out how you feel but dont do it in a nasty way. But tell him your not attracted to him anymore and then the balls in his court to change things if not then your prob best off leaving him!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008): Tell him again, if he really wants to keep you then yes he should do something about his apperance, or your both be going down the just freinds route. There's no point people on here calling you shallow as you been with this bloke for 5 years and you can't help what you feel.
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