A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been talking to/dating someone for a few months and last week we finally had sex. I am attracted to him physically and mentally. He used to weigh 400lbs and lost weight (not sure how much). Well, I'm no skinny chick, but he's heavier than I am and I have always been attracted to bigger men.Anyway, the night we had sex I enjoyed everything up until he got on top of me with his whole weight (mostly his belly) I couldn't breathe! I swear I panicked and made him get off. I tried again a few times, but I couldn't breathe with him on top of me like that and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I just said I had cramps. He didn't want to do any other position, so this was 3 whole hours of torture when it should've been pleasurable.This has never EVER happened to me before and not being able to breathe scared the bajesus out of me.I still like him so how do I tell him without hurting his feelings? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 October 2011):
 "Babe, I really like you and am totally attracted to you. I am thrilled that we are finally physically intimate. Here's the thing, I simply couldn't breathe with your full weight on me. I can't wait to go to bed with you again, I just want us to try some different positions so we can both be comfortable. So are you up for some creative sex? I can't wait!"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2011): I totally agree with the female who said "if you are close enough to be intimate, you are close enough to tell him you can't breathe.No one should be forced to have sex that makes them uncomfortable or in pain. Just say you really like him and want to be intimate with him but you can't breathe with him on top. Suggest that you try a different position other than missionary and as he loses more weight, you can try missionary again.Unless he is a selfish clod, his pleasure is mostly about giving you pleasure. We, women, need to be more outspoken about these things. He can't know if you don't tell him.Get a book on all the different positions you can try. There are many that do not involve the man being on top. Make it about new experiences and what you can do together-not about what doesn't work for you.Best of luck and.......I hope you have fun.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 October 2011):
 YOU tell him exactly how you told us.
IF you are close enough to be sexually intimate with someone you are close enough to tell him "I can't breathe"
and then you have to come up with different positions.
When I was obese and my hubby was obese we had to be very creative about positions...
http://www.more2hug.com/sex3.html
http://www.rotunda.com/people/yohannon/fat_position.html
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A
female
reader, JessicaStarDust +, writes (5 October 2011):
 You could always try by saying you enjoy other positions more than him on top cause it's a great accesses to your spots.
- but honestly this will only last so long.
Sooner, or later you will have to tell him. You can not breathe while he is on you. As much as it hurts to tell someone this you must.
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