A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I am a male dating a 41 year old woman for 2 years who wants to wait until she is married to have intercourse. I do understand and lover her very much enough to wait if we get married. We have had forms of sex in the past in our relationship as it has been up and down, it was over 6 months ago since our last encounter. I am feeling very undesired, doubtful of the future, scaried and it is starting to bother me. I feel that we are drifting apart, but I am almost sure she is just not interested. I can tell that she really does not care about my feelings and she is more about how she feels, as much as what she is running away from in her life. She even said that she really does not do anything for me, as much as I do for her.. I think this may be typical in all relationships. I will state that she did more for her ex-boyfriend who treated her wrong than she has done for me, yes she did show him that she loved him in that way and she did not wait. She dis say that she made a mistake with him.My Questions is general: What is the majority consensus on this issue? I see something between all these events, but maybe I am just to blind to see.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2010): Let's say that a salesman tells you he gave the product away to the last customer for free. Now he says he needs you to pay double price for it to make up for his mistake before. What do you do?
If you are like me, you have too much self respect to stick around for that bullshit. You tell the salesman he'll have to go find some other sucker to fix his problems.
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (16 August 2010):
 Well, it seems that she was very disappointed and hurt and betrayed with her last relationship and she is carrying that baggage into your relationship.
I would gently suggest that she go to counseling with you. Tell her that you just want to be sure that you are preparing for marriage and you two are making the right decision and are asking all the right questions, etc.
I think 2 years is a ridiculously long time to date without having sex between two non virgins, but that is me.
If you feel she doesn't care enough, you may be right, but that could just be you projecting your feelings onto her, perhaps you are ready to throw in the towel yourself as you say you are getting scared (of making a mistake).
We aren't in your relationship so it is very hard to determine with such little information to go on what exactly is going on here.
But when it comes to something as important as your sexual relationship, I think it is a little complex for us to help you with on this forum...I would call in the professionals and get face to face counseling. You can start by going alone at first.
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