A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with my Girlfriend for two and a half years. We have had a great sex life life but recently she has never been in the mood and we haven't had sex for a while. My problem is I love her personality, but having no sex is a big put off. She has been having problems at work, but it looks like that is going to continue for a long time. I just don't feel loved because all the sweet courtesy gf/bf stuff she does from letters to saying she love me have stopped. I don't want this to continue. What should I do? Am I being shallow with sex? Is the romance over after two and a half years?
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female
reader, khmngbrd  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 Why not just try to talk to her? Or do what everyone else is saying. Are u being romantic. If not why not try a lil harded. And that could be possible. If u guys r very close knowing almot nearly everything about eachother than why not proposal suprise her with romantic things all week long then at the end of the week do the most romantic of all andd then propose. Theres an idea. Im sure all the answers will come to u adventually. But I hope I helped
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (7 December 2010):
 Best way to jump start romance again is to start it yourself in my opinion... Treat her the way you want to be treated.
Do you still do romantic things for her? Leave her notes in her bag, take her on date nights, arrange spontaneous surprises?
Great thing about romance is that apart from being good fun... good deeds tend to flow over into other areas of the relationship... She could see that you're putting in more effort and cook you a nice dinner... or put more effort into sex (not to mention enjoy it more)...
In my experience romance tends to amplify everything that's great about a relationship, it really is in yours (and most guys) best interest to be romantic- especially if you want to be treated that way yourself...
If she's stressed out from work, then you can only benefit from de-stressing, calming and romancing her...
Don't you agree?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): You're not being shallow. As you have said she is having problems at work, so at least you know there is a reason for it, is there anything you can do to help? Have you told her how you are feeling? Are you still telling her you love her? Only you can decide if your relationship is worth the wait and work.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): is your gf getting impatient waiting for a marriage proposal? You like her personality but perhaps she's sick of waiting for more commitment?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010):
If work is the problem then maybe a bright interlude in the middle of her day would give her a lift? Do you know where she likes to go for lunch? Or have for lunch? Surprise her at work by calling just before lunch time with her favorite lunch. Or escort her to her favorite place and give her one on one attention.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): It sounds as if her stress at work is effecting her home life. Relationships do settle down from the heady early days that is true. But I think her work troubles are getting her down - you need to talk it out. You don't want to seem selfish, adding to her problems, but see it from her side as well as yours.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2010): Have a talk with her. If it is solely due to issues at work, it will pass, and you should both work on making time for intimacy...something you BOTH agree on.
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