A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Probably this question has been posted many times but I just missed the chance to read it. Last month, I told my ex that I prefer if we stop communicating. I have always asked him before but he would just pop out again about a week or two. But now it's been a month and I guess he is gone for good. Anyway, it's his birthday today. I know I have somehow hurt him by telling him to stay away but right now I am thinking of sending him a text to greet him happy birthday. Would that be okay?You see, he's told me before that no one greets him on his birthday. Like everyone forgets or that no one cares. It's only his mom who calls him. I pitied him so much and I still do now. So I just want to let him know that even if I don't want him to be constantly there, that I do remember that it's his birthday today.The thing is, I am scared he will ignore me because of what I have done to him asking him to stop calling me after I've ignored him for a month.What do you think guys? Should I greet him or just let this go?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks so much guys...no I am not going to send him any message. it always helps to have opinions from people as I am attached in my story and can't judge too well for myself. Thanks for the support that's just what I need.
I will spend the day like nothing's going on. Thanks!!
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 First you tell him you want to stop any contact then right after you send him birthday wishes ? You'd be sending him mixed signals. Let go.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 When the wound has healed, don't go and scratch them or you will reopen the old wound.
Let go and don't send anything .He is no more your concern and you should keep it that way.
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A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 If you are going to send a birthday greeting (which I personally see no problem with - but I am not the type to stop talking to ex's either) send it becasue your intent is to brighten his day, coz you feel sorry for him, coz it is just nice, whatever, ... but don't send it if the motive goes beyond that. If you are concerned about him ignoring you etc, then your not actually doing it for right and selfless reasons.
If you could just send it and not care wether he responds or not and be happy knowing you did a nice thing for another with no expectation or want in return, then that would sound like a zero drama, no biggy, nice thing to do.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2010):
 No, dont send him a greeting. No contact rule is in force and he needs to get over you. Sending him a note will just hurt him more as he is reminded that the only one who remembers is his ex. Thats not gonna make him feel good. And if it does make him feel good it's going to make him want to contact you again.
I say, next time you meet him randomly or something, some time later, say belated happy birthday to him and that you sent him your thoughts. But don't do anything right now.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 April 2010):
He's your ex and you were right to stop contact. Don't send anything. Just let all this go and continue to move on.
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