A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok this is a little embarassing... I am 25 years old and should know all about this but.... I dont.I have never had an orgasm while having intercourse. I have been intimate with several men and tried every position possible and still no big "O"I have had a clitoral orgasm but can not achieve one through penitration, ither during sex or four play.I am just wondering if there is somthing wrong with me or if this is normal.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2011): it's actualy the vast majority of women who can't orgasm through just penetration, myself included, it is not unusual. there is nothing wrong with you clitoral stimulation is the way to go, it gives you a stronger orgasm anyway. I sometimes stimulate my clitoris during intercourse to achieve an orgasm during penetration which seems to increase pleasure for both parties. I wouldn't worry about it too much. it's completely normal. http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/i_cant_orgasm_from_intercourse_and_its_ruining_my_relationship if you would like more advice on whats normal with womens orgasms. good luck honey, dont fret.
A
female
reader, Worried64  +, writes (13 February 2011):
I think mentally u are putting to much pressure on yourself and when u are about to have sex and really getting into it you start thinking will it happen this time and thats pressure!! I've been with my partner 10 years and we have the best sex ever he is intune with my body so sometimes I have them and sometimes I don't it all comes down to mood I find that when I'm really in the mood and have nothing on my mind its a shoe in lol so I think stop putting so much pressure on yourrself and just let go and it should happenGood Luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): To answer the posters question about a "normal" orgasm. A clitoral orgasm IS a normal orgasm. Whether you achieve it through penetrative sex or some other way this IS the normal orgasmic area for women. When women experience orgasm through penetration it is usually still because of friction or rubbing on the clitoris NOT because of some secret spot on the inside. That being said SOME women experience an orgasmic response from the "G-spot" although it is not that common and MANY women still prefer a clitoral orgasm or a "blended orgasm" through stimulation of both the clitoris and the g-spot simultaniously. Many women have told me that a clitoral or blended orgasm feels better although a few have told me the opposite. The g-spot is actually the internal part of the same tissue as the clitoris and stimulation usually gives a strong urge to urinate. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 Ok.. you want more.. but a warning, Cindycares is right when she says maybe about a third of women will never have a orgasm through penetration.You love the guy and feel safe.. goodYou can orgasm through the clitorus... goodThree techniques, they may not work, and if they don't, then don't cry... you are probably prettier than me and will live longer and I'm not allowed to cry about that either.. that's just the way the world works.1. DildoIt's the rhythm... For many years I couldn't orgasm, and then one day my guy found the right rhythm. Don't know how he found it, we just kept trying and trying until one day he found the right speed and depth to move. Think it was a kind of side to side, up and down thing... can't remember because of obvious reasons.I suggest using a dildo, because his penis will probably get tired. Not a vibrator, because men can't make their penis shake. Don't have any type of orgasm for a couple of days, hopefully this will make you hungry. Then give him the dildo and you relax back. Try shallow thrusts, no movement at all, deep thrusts, try them all. Ask him to try each movement for a good couple of minutes, at least 15. This is adult Doctors-nurses, he can be the scientist and work out which movements suit you best.When you finished playing, if you haven't come, he can finish off with penis penetration using some of the things he has learnt during your research time together.2. Different positions.Some women like top, some women like to be on their knees. Each position allows the penis to thrust inside in a different direction and a different force. Experiment with one each time you have sex. Here's a website to start you off.. http://www.sexinfo101.com/3. Over stimulationThis one takes long and can become uncomfortable. The whole idea is to relax you to bonelessness, shut down your mind totally and push you beyond what you think your capable off. Boyfriend should use vibrator, tongue and hands. He needs to make you orgasm as many times as possible, using whatever way he can. When you orgasm, he should not allow you to rest for more than a minute, and then he should start to arouse you and force you into orgasm again. I don't know how much you're capable off, as after a while this becomes more like pain than pleasure. Your boyfriend definitely has to love you, care for you and know you very well, because he has to know exactly when to STOP.He needs to start penetration with penis, just before you start to dislike sex, and when you're still aroused and can manage 2 orgasms if he pushed. This is when all your mental barriers will be broken down. You won't have the energy to care if your orgasm comes through intercourse or clitorus, you won't even care if you never have sex again. This is ultimate relaxation, and if he follows this with strong thrusts and words that are arousing, hopefully you should feel something more than you usually do.Show this post to your boyfriend. Tell him the problem you're having, kiss him and ask if he is willing to help you solve it. Orgasms through penetration are overated. The reason I say that is because you don't really understand the higher levels you can reach through sex. As long as you say things like "clitoral orgasm rubbish, penis penetration the best", your making sex mechanical, looking for goals that are worthless and missing the most important, spiritual parts of sex.Sorry for the lecture, I read some tantric stuff and they deal with delayed orgasms, no orgasm or orgasm without ejaculation. Sex happens in the mind. As long as you are worried about the type of orgasm you have, it won't be as good as it could be, if you just learned to relax.PS: If any of our suggestions help, please update your post to help other people too.PPS.. Just thought of another way.. I'm sure your boyfriend will have more ideas though... whipped cream.. he licks it off real slowly.. lots and lots of foreplay, enough to make you scream, then start penetration... I reckon fast at first and then slow, or it could be the other way around.. Practise and tell us if they work.PPPS: Stuff.. one more.. he could try the counting method.. 10 shallow, then 9 shallow 1 deep, then 8 shallow 2 deep etc... tell him to do this one slowly. Probably blindfolded to help you keep your attention only on penetration.Sorry.. I've finished.. tell us how you get on.
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A
female
reader, elmo120790 +, writes (13 February 2011):
 I love my boyfriend but I just can't either. However, I use toys in bed during penetration and that helps if you're into that kind of thing.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (13 February 2011):
 I am neither happy nor unhappy with the way things are ,since I was quoting stats from medical research , not talking about my personal experience.
I think this is something you only have a limited measure of control over, because while for some women the incapability of orgasming through penetration comes from mental blocks , inexperience etc- for many other women there is no specific cause, they are simply not wired that way .
I am not say it's never gonna happen for you, maybe it will . Only,it's safer and happier enjoying the orgasms you have now rather that charging your sex life with anxiety in the search for the "textbook " orgasm.
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A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (13 February 2011):
 When you're having sex, do you ever feel like you have to pee? have you ever had that feeling? Usually that's indicator that he's hitting the right spot for a g spot orgasm.Any position that hits that front wall usually helps, cowgirl, doggy style.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't want to "join the club" im sick of being in "the club". You may be happy with the way things are but I personaly want to be able to experience this.
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A
female
reader, prettypenny +, writes (13 February 2011):
 Try figuring out what turns you on. Maybe experiment, play around with yourself and see what feels good. If the thought of masturbation doesn't turn you on (it didn't used to for me) then see what else. Whatever you can do to get that "tingly feeling" down there ha. Because once you feel that, your nerves get super sensitive and then it's all about climaxing from there. For me it has to do alot with how I feel about myself. If I don't feel sexy chances are I'm not gonna cum. So I like to do things that make me feel beautiful and sexy like pole dancing classes and buying hot lingerie. I do agree with tennisstar though, we're all different and very mental. It's usually about how you feel either with the guy or yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have never been so in love with anyone in my intire life as I am with the man im with now, he turns me on, I love having sex with him, he in my mind is perfect... I can't imagine being closer or intimate with anyone. so i don't think that is the problem.
Is there a certian position that we can do that would possibly increase the chances of me being able to orgasm, or does it not really matter?
And does a clitoral orgasm feel different than a "normal" orgasm?
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (13 February 2011):
So ? Join the club . About one third of all women don't climax though penetration only.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (13 February 2011):
 I believe that it depends on the guy and your level of intimacy and passion with him. It took me till I was 25 to achieve an orgasm through penetration with my husband. Out of the rest of the guys, with only one I had an orgasm through oral sex.
So no there's nothing wrong with you. I know some women who can't get off unless it's through clitoral stimulation and with a vibrator. Each woman is different.
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