A
female
age
30-35,
*mandanash
writes:I'm still in love with my ex who dumped me 3 months ago. I have to see him every day, and I cannot seem to get over him. He turned his emotions off like a switch and just wanted to be friends. I said no, I needed time to not talk. And we havn't talked or even really looked at eachother. But no matter how much I ignore him, I cannot get over him. He, in no way, wants me back or ever wants to be with me. When we broke up, I told him I had loved him, and he said "Thank you. But I didn't love you". And that really hurt. All I want is to be back together with him, but I know I can't. What do I do? Sometimes I try to ask him questions, but he doesn't really care, or will respond and then leave. What do I do?
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female
reader, LolaBolla  +, writes (25 November 2011):
 As incredibly painful as I know this is, there no way for your broken heart to heal other than time.You're off to a great start though by avoiding him; someone who throws away your relationship in two seconds is hardly worth your attention. Moreover, its painful because it confusing how someone can treat you like that when all you've ever shown them is love.Now ask yourself, why do you love him? When my ex and I broke up, I made a list of pros and cons; seeing all the shit he put me through visually helped ease the transition. Another good way to cope is to keep yourself busy; the busier you are, the less time you have to brood over him. go out with your friends, start on a project, sign up for a dance class, something new that will keep you thinking about other things. Pursue your interests. Even better, would be to go on a nice long road trip with your friends; outta sight, outta mind.Distance yourself from him; delete all his contact information if you have to. Explore your options, date other guys. But ignore him flat out; he doesn't deserve your attention.I know you'll get better soon, but take care of yourself girl! :)
A
female
reader, AuntDaisy +, writes (25 November 2011):
 Been were you are now. Right now, you can't see the other side of things but trust me you'll get there. Eventually, in your own time youwill. If he wants to try and hurt you by telling you he didn't love you then he is not the man for you. You deserve someone who won't go a day without telling you he loves you. Theres nothing we can say that will make you feel better. Just trust us when we say it does and will get easier and better. And one day you'll be able to look back and be okay about it all. Just not yet.
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A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (25 November 2011):
hi - I've been where you are and yes it is such a rough place to be.
Its been 7 months now since I split with a woman I know is a fabulous person. its true time does make it slowly better, but still you always feel something when you see your ex.
the others are right, start to do things for yourself only and dont worry about anyone else. meet guys and just have fun - dont feel pushed or rushed or that you might get lonely - you need this time for you to heal and it will all work out - its starting to for me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): Stop going to him for anything. Not even friendship.
You are prolonging the healing process. Time to be distracted in good ways. Go swimming, join a class or seminar and pick up a skill like stir fry to occupy eveings. Window shop with a bud. Get out and about, stay busy. Eventually it gets better.
When you think you can move on, start to casual date and hang with other guy buds, to slowly get back to single mine mode and realize, there ARE other young men out there that will DESIRE and WANT to date FABULOUS YOU!!
*hugs*
Seriously, I'm 39 and the dating world is chalk full of single available men all age groups. You have your pick.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2011): Hey, i'm going through a break up too and we're of similar age so thought I would post! In a way, my story is similar as I wasn't seeing as much of my guy as i would have liked and knew from a previous discussion he was scared that our relationship wouldn't work as we were such good friends. But when I brought it up again, he said he didn't feel the 'i miss her' feeling that you should get at start of a relationship. I know its hard hearing it, but what I do is respect his feelings and leave him to it. I don't question him, or try and get him back. It wouldn't be right to force someone into feeling something thy don't. Why do you this guy every day? i say leave him to it, completely. If he's not into you, then you'll know when you give him space. Let him wonder where you are/what you're doing. Do your own things, meet new people. You'll probably find that you meet someone better suited to you. It sounds cliche,but what's meant to be will be, and I know you're hurting like hell atm (trust me, i really do know what you're feeling) but have your dignity and enjoy life! Hope i've helped a little!
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