A
female
age
41-50,
*oltsgirl
writes:Is it wrong for me to think that my life is over because I don't have a husband OR boyfriend? I'm 35 and I hardly even date. I'm extremely shy and not a positive thinker.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (4 October 2011):
 Is it wrong? No..who says you NEED to have a partner?
Now, if you WANT a partner or to change your outlook to be more positive and choose NOT to do anything about it...that may be wrong. So, if you know what you want out of life (and no, your life is not over!!) then time to look at all your opportunities to make small baby step changes in your life.
Only you can change your circumstances:)
A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (4 October 2011):
 No it is not wrong at all, and your life certainly isn't over because of it.
35 isn't old, you still have a long time to go. That's a lot of opportunities to meet new people and form new relationships.
And if you're not interested in relationships, then that shouldn't make a difference either.
I know a lot of people that are your age whom are unattached, it is definitely not a bad thing.
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A
female
reader, chocoholicforever +, writes (4 October 2011):
I don't think it's "wrong" to feel a certain way - feelings by themselves are not morally right or wrong, they just are. And many times our feelings are not within our conscious control (some are, meaning you can change your feelings by changing your thoughts, others aren't and they drive your thoughts instead). Your feelings do give you information about yourself and your current state of mind tied to your past experiences, so I think it's good to listen to them and try to figure out where your feelings are coming from so you can know how to proceed in a way that's likely to make you feel better.
You may want to think about why you feel your 'life is over' because you don't have a husband or boyfriend, and what does this mean for you? are you actually content being single but facing peer pressure from others who are making you feel bad about not being married or in a relationship? If so, then maybe it would help to build your confidence in your own choices and decisions and stand up for who you are, and not let other people's values and opinions affect you so much.
or do you want to be in a relationship, for yourself (not just to fit in with other people who may be pressuring you to become just like them)? If so, then you may want to work on yourself to develop your social skills and change your outlook on life to enable you to feel better about being single so that you can be happier starting right now, without needing to find a relationship just yet. when people get into relationships due to neediness and loneliness or desperation (such as biological clocks..), it is often not a wise choice of partner (if it is, it would be luck) so you want to not just develop your social skills and start meeting new people, but to also be in a position to be able to not proceed with a relationship with someone unless you feel they are really worth it, and not just because you are lonely and someone would be better than no one.
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A
female
reader, Eyespy17 +, writes (4 October 2011):
I am 34 and don't have a husband and recently broke up with my boyfriend because he wasn't treating me like I was number one and I later
found out he was having an online affair.
I Know how you feel. I too get depressed over not having a family yet - but I make myself feel better by considering that many many people who are married are NOT happy. It is not the be all and end all. Some people got married to soon or got married for the sake of being married.
I am sure you will find someone. Try a dating website. Ask friends to set you up. And try to think that even if you don't get married - a life alone with all the freedom to travel, work, etc is better than a life with just anyone. Xoxo
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A
female
reader, Doe Eyed Beauty +, writes (4 October 2011):
Dear ' Coltsgirl' - You aren't quite ready to date yet.Go to www.shyunited.com One of the reasons that people stay stuck in timidity is because they don't perceieve their attributes but are seemingly aware of their flaws(or perceieved flaws).You may scare men off with your negative outlook. You have something most women don't have: a love of football. Workout, keep spending time in places with mixed genders, also start thinking of what you have to offer someone and what qualities are you looking for. After all you don't want to end up with just a warm body you have nothing in common with. D.E.B.
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