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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi everyone, sorry if this is kinda of lengthy, but I'm from a very small town in South Carolina and am trying to figure out the best way to move to El Monte, California. I'm 16 and before everyone thinks I'm young and crazy, I have graduated high school already. I understand how expensive and crazy California life is, but I have thought this through and I'm sure of what I want. I plan on trying to move at the end or beginning of next year to go to college for Psychology. I've been researching places and figuring out what I can afford and what I can not. I've also been saving money since I found out I wanted to move and my real dad says he would be glad to send me $500 a month to help me out. Plus, I'm hoping to find a job there. I'm going in February with a friend to look at places. That same friend is moving with me and we are getting a place and splitting all the major utilities (rent, electric, water, etc.).{The school I'm attending doesn't have on campus living quarters.} Here's the problem: I believe that I can do this with all my heart, but my family not so much. They believe I'm going to leave and be back in month. They have no faith what so ever. My family stills sees me as the baby of the family since I'm the youngest of all the my siblings. Is there any way to deal with this?Side Note: If you have any advice in general from moving from the East Coast all the way to the West Coast, I'd appreciate it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): I used to live near in LA near the El Monte area. $500 split between two people is definitely doable, but you'll have to do a 1 bedroom apartment and share the room. The outside of the apartment will also look like crap, but it will be liveable. El Monte has a transit hub, so you'll have cheap access to buses and trains which go all over LA(eg. you probably own't need a car). The Claremont colleges are about 20min away by train, so there will be some cheap housing around that area if you don't mind the commute.
A
female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (11 October 2011):
If your family isn't actively trying to stop you from doing this, and they simply are being negative in their attitudes, I think the best thing for you to do is to try your best to ignore them. I know it's hard to ignore something that's hurtful (and their lack of confidence in you is hurtful because it's belittling), but try to stay focused on your goals and what you must do to reach them.
I would suggest you don't try to convince them to change their opinion of you. They already have made up their minds so nothing you say will change it, except actively showing them proof that their predictions are wrong. Even then they may continue to see you as a helpless baby no matter what you accomplish on your own, because some times families can become very entrenched in the roles they assign to each member. Many people have led their entire lives based on trying to obtain parental approval or respect, to no avail, because the family had a preferred way of viewing them. thus, all the more reason to focus on your goals, be confident in them, surround yourself with positive people like your friends, people who don't have preconceived notions of you, and not dwell not on what negative people (in this case your family) think of you.
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (11 October 2011):
 Well you do have some support. My advice to you is follow your heart on this one. If you want to make the move then do it. I was worried until you said that you wanted to go to school out there and that you had a plan. The best way to deal with this is to do something big like this. They will respect you for making your own choice. I do question the whole moving thing though because you are only 16. I just don't know the laws well where you are because you would still be a minor.
Take your time and plan this whole thing out even if it takes another year to save up. Also remember that if it doesn't work out then you need to go back home. To let your pride get to you and end up with nothing out there. They will respect you if whether you make it or you don't. It is the fact that you went for it that matters.
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