A
female
age
41-50,
*ittieS
writes:Hello,I came out of a very nasty relationship just over a year ago, I spent six years being emotionally abused, nothing and I mean nothing was ever good enough about me or what I did. The abuse was constant resulting in me being a complete mess, it's taken me a long time to find myself.After a couple of flings, I found a wonderful man - he adores me, faults, bumps and all. He tells me I'm beautiful every single day, he gives me my space, if I have a hard day he comes over and makes me dinner (well pizza or a shove in the oven meal - it makes me smile he considers this making a meal but its done with so much love) he wants to hear about my day, I laugh at his stupid jokes, he drives me insane at time (I'm sure I do the same), he talks about his future and it always involves me. He even after sex talks to me, holds me, he loves sex (so do I, it's the Scorpio in me) but when I'm too tired he never pushes, he just holds me. So what's the problem I hear you ask, simply putMeI want to let myself go, I really do - when I feel sad all I want is him, when I feel happy I want him - I want to share my life with this person so why do I have this feeling deep down in my stomach and why can't I just let myself go and give myself fully to him? Don't get me wrong I'm not dating anyone else, I'd never do that, 95% of me is there just that last 5% is holding on. I think after bring hurt so badly, but also knowing that once I'm 100% there I'm never going to be able to go back (stupid as I dont want too!!!)I guess I'm interested to hear if anyone else has been through something similar!From a horoscope perspective, I'm a Scorpio (Libra moon") he's a Libra - everything is so wonderful, and I'm kicking myself at not being able to fully let go. Maybe I just think it's all too good to be true!! But happy wonderful things can happen out of the blue, is it just possible after all those frogs I did manage to find a prince? Is it possible fairy tales are real?Looking forward to answers! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KittieS +, writes (15 September 2011):
KittieS is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you for the replies, I gad a bit of a dreadful day yesterday (I was attacked a while ago - not nice cometrly out the blue) and hadto drag it all up again with another police officer
He came to mine, he knew something was wrong - I hadn't called because he was out and about and didn't want to ruin is evening, he knew just what to say and made me feel so much better.
Honestly right now I feel incredibly lucky, and the way he knew something was wrong the way he wanted to make me feel better - just tipped me up a notch, I'm letting go, I'm diving fully in and whilst it does still feel a bit scary it feels really blooming good!
A
female
reader, positivesmiler +, writes (15 September 2011):
You are afraid he will turn into what your last man was..But he wont..You are not used to finaly being treated the way you deserve with love and respect..Enjoy this happiness do not fight it and hold back..To hold back is making you unhappy and that will seep into your new happy relationship..Do not be afraid to be happy..He cares for you you make him happy keepit that way..Talk to him tell him how you feel why you still hold back..He will understand...You have found your prince who knows he may become your King..You have found your rainbow keep it shining..
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (14 September 2011):
KittieS is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAnonmous please sign up letter me would love to hear your story x
Maybe we can help each other!
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A
female
reader, KittieS +, writes (14 September 2011):
KittieS is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you my dears, I really think I need to stop looking for problems xx maybe I just kissed a frog and found a prince
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): O.M.G. For a second there I thought that you were talking about me! I too have recently gotten out of an abusive relationship...am a scorpio (libra moon) and recently started dating a libra. I am also struggling with giving myself 100% to him. I'm scared. It's starting to put a lot of strain on the relationship....I'm needy, insecure, and constantly want reaasurance and validation and I tend to start fights a lot :( I'm totally pushing him away. Do you find yourself doing that as well?
I really can't answer your questions since they are the same ones I have...I guess the whole point of my response was to let you know that you aren't alone....plus I thought the coincidences were really cool :)
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 95% is still an A+... I'm sure the other 5% will come naturally over time after you've pinched yourself enough times to know you're awake and he's not going anywhere or turning into someone similar to your ex.
Good-luck aye :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): Abuse is a traumatising thing. You suffered for six years, and I'm sure there are many wounds and scars inside of your heart. Have you had therapy since the abuse? There are women's organizations that offer support, to help you heal, and give you the tools to avoid falling back into a similar situation.
I say stay with this man he sounds great. But do not forget to work on healing yourself. It has not been long since your escape. You will reach 100% but take it at your own pace. If he is as good a man as it sounds, then he will understand that.
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