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male
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anonymous
writes: I fell in love with a girl a few years ago, she knew I liked her a lot, and we were good friends. I felt she liked me a little too, but she was with a guy, and she was happy with him. One day she came in upset, crying her eyes out; her boyfriend had cheated on her, and I held her while she cried. Pretty soon after that she began expressing her affection for me a little more strongly. I knew, thanks to a friend of hers, that she was just waiting for me to ask her out. I never did. My situation at home with my family, namely my father's debt (where MY money went) and health problems, made me feel so embarrassed and beneath her; I didn't have the confidence to just go for it. And she knew my situation, and she didn't care, she just wanted to be with me. It took a few months, but she eventually went back to her old boyfriend. After that she got a better job across the street and I hardly ever saw her. I've been in love with her for years and I can't let go of what could have been, or what might be just in case she has trouble with her boyfriend again. It haunts me that I didn't take the chance with her. She seemed perfect for me. The last time I saw her was in the Walmart parking lot, I was in miserable mood and the meeting didn't go very well. Now, just the other day I found out that they moved to Colorado. I'm crushed. I thought about writing her a letter or email, just to see how she's doing. Is that a good idea? How do I deal with any of this? Please give me some advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): I am 13 almost 14 and i never took the chance with my ex now he is with some one else and i still love him i kept thinking the same so if i was you i would take that chance now!
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (1 August 2005):
Theres no harm in writing her a letter to see how shes doing but you have missed your chance to ask her out,as she is with someone else now and it would not be appropriate to tel her your feelings.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (30 July 2005):
 Go the snail-mail route, if you have her postal address. This keeps you from being perceived as too stalkerish. Get a blank greeting card with a beautiful photo of some sort and write her a short letter, saying that you were sorry to hear that she'd moved away and that you've always had warm and friendly feelings for her. Be sure to mention that you're aware of her boyfriend, because he may still be very much in the picture, and you don't want to be to blame for some ugly breakup between them.
Let her know how you can be contacted, leave your phone number, email and postal address in the letter, then back away.
If she wants to contact you, she'll have all the tools she needs to do so. Refrain from any declarations of anything more than friendship right now; it will only complicate things. When you see how she responds to your letter, you'll have a better idea what to do next. Just try not to rush things. After all, you've been standing back for several years already... a few more months won't make a difference.
Try not to have your hopes too high, but good luck!
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A
female
reader, jess18maine  +, writes (30 July 2005):
 I think writing to her as an old friend is a great idea, do it and don't think about it, but don't mention your feelings for her unless you feel like you must. Wait for her to reply to the letter as friends, to see if she still wants to be your friend at least and if she does, then writ letters back anf fouth and just casualy mention in your letter that your happy for her and her man and that you hope everything is going better then it was and tell her dont settle for anything less then perfect b/c shes great and you hope to find sumone just like her sumday. you could also mention that you miss her and that she was a bright spot in your life. Good luck hun, but other wise move on because your becoming consummed with a alreaddy taken women.
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