A
female
age
30-35,
*eko_Deshou
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now, We've been on and off since I started at this school. Its been sorta Y'know. 'I cant come. I'm really sorry but I cant I'm extremely swamped' and it was true I know we had the same classes. [Thats how we met] He keeps asking for me to do things for him like 'Well what if you did this for me?' Type of thing like he's hinting for sex all the time. This is the first time for him, not for me, but thats a story for another time. I don't wanna hurt his feelings, I don't even say I love you yet, even though we both know I love him and he loves me. I am an OLD FASHION PERSON. I wont say I love you till I really really truly mean it. So I need help, Any way. How exactly can I say that 'I don't know wither I want to have sex with you or not!'With out hurting his feelings, notice, this boy is very sensitive. He cried when watching Steel magnolias so. Be kind with this
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2008): I can tell he is sensitive by the way he ask you what you will do for him. This boy is a hot potato!
For the age your roughly at, preteens, I recall the questions I use to get from girls at this age. I hesitated to answer, because the way it was presented was like a "gotcha" question. You said you would, so do it now.
This seems like a situation where we being on the internet may not be the most proper way to advise, because I can see it needs delicate care. So I suggest you talk with your mom about this (dad may be a little rough around the collar, especially if a boy wants to have sex with his little princess). A mature indivdual, close to the situation maybe the best way to handle this. Your mom may ask that he be invited over so that the three of you can chat about relationships. It sounds like this would be best for this boy, and expecting to much of you to handle on your own, thereby having mom give you a little experience, which can be priceless, and also build a closer bond between you and your mom, which too is priceless. I wish I had that with my parents, and I hope your mom is willing and has the patience and skill to do this so that all are happy, otherwise, please contact us here again and let us know what happened.
Take care.
A
male
reader, polarkite +, writes (27 March 2008):
 It's plain.
Just say to him, "[SensitiveGuy's Name], I understand that you want to do X-sex, Y-sex, or Z-sex, but I am not ready to have any kind of sex with you. I'm old-fashioned, and sex is a really big deal for me. It may take some time before I know, I'm just not sure."
Pause for a while.
Allow for him to respond.
Evaluate his response, possibly discuss, and move on.
End of story.
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Just tell him you are not ready for that sort of thing yet and it may be some time before you are. Doc
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