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female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 and 1/2 years now. When we met it was just a bit of fun because I was fully aware that he was in a relationship already. I love him very much, more than I have anybody else and every day I am without him I am so unhappy. I see him about twice a week. He calls me lots of times in the day and we text all the time. It's not just a sex thing; we really are good together. He loves me and tells me so every day.I am 31 and I have a son and I need more now. I have tried on many occasions to walk away but I can't because I think about him constantly. When I am not with him I get really anxious and need him. I don't know what to do. Please help.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (28 May 2006):
 I appreciate the fact that you have been with this man for 3 and a half years but in that time has he ever said that he wants out of the relationship he is currently in?
If he has, then why hasn't he made more of a commitment to you? Even living together or something.
This man is more than happy with the situation at the moment as he is obviously quite settled in his current relationship but he is seeing you twice a week and getting a great sex life in the bargain as well.
How old is your son? Does he have contact with his father?
You are obviously looking for stability and security for your son and yourself and unless this man of yours has ever mentioned it, it is probably highly likely that he is never going to give it to you.
I realise it is hard to walk away but the longer it carries on the harder it will be to think about a relationship with someone new and you could be missing out on something fantastic with someone who is there constantly for you and your son and being a full time person in your lives.
You are young at 31 and the world is your oyster so don't settle for second best, you are worth so much more than that.
Your current man has so far got his cake and eating it and so why would he want to change that. It is every man's fantasy, one at home and one you can see when you want for sex.
You have started to think about what you want out of life and now you need to concentrate on that as your son must see his mum frustrated and unhappy and living a part time life with a man who comes and goes as he likes.
We have one life and we must enjoy it to the full. Don't sit around for another 3 and a half years and wonder where your life has gone as your son is obviously seeing everything that is going on with you right now and that says that this is a fine way to treat a woman which it's not. Do it for you and your son and find a man who will treat you in the way you deserve.
I am here for you anytime so let me know how you are eh!
BFN
Country Woman
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